I promised myself that I wouldn’t get romantically involved while I was at college. It’s just too complicated, and I wanted to concentrate on my studies. I’d seen too many friends allow their love-lives to get in the way of their education. So I had this reputation as a frosty spinster, rumors even circulated that I was a lesbian, or maybe just an unusually pious Catholic, but I didn’t let it get to me.
But a woman has needs, and I tried to placate them with the Internet. I chatted to guys on-line, fantasized a bit, and dealt with my own needs privately. Then I met David in a chat room and all my plans went awry.
It started out the usual way, with us finding we agreed with each other on some issues, all quite scholarly. Then we swapped a few e-mails, chatted privately on Messenger, you know the deal, we all do it! It was a nice friendship, but I spent more and more time talking to him. We got to know each other really well, because of the wide variety of things we talked about. He was really quite fascinating, very smart, very funny.
So I had this crazy idea to send him a photo of myself. I was really rather proud of it. It was taken by my roommate Helena, and was very flattering. Made me look a bit like Brittany Spears even. Well, a little. So I e-mailed this to David, half-expecting one of him in return. Lots of nice comments, but no pic, dammit! He ignored two hints that I wanted one of him, and eventually I found my druthers and asked him outright. He said OK, but as he didn’t have one ready, it might take a day or two.
As you can imagine, that had me wondering. Had I gotten myself interested in someone spotty and buck-toothed, weighing 400lb? It was an unpleasant thought, because I had started to fantasize about the two of us. Silly. I put it as far back it my mind as it would go, but it keep popping back out.
A week passed where he disappeared off the face of the planet. I was convinced he must be a really ugly guy. Why else would someone put off sending a photo that long? I mean, how hard is it to get one scanned? And this silence?
Then when I really wasn’t expecting it, because I’d given up ever even hearing from him again, suddenly this e-mail arrived from him with an attachment. Took me quite a while to open it, because I didn’t want to face the horror........
I was speechless. He was GORGEOUS. Light brown hair with sun streaks, and a tan, and piercing brilliant green eyes. Great physique. He looked like a surfer. I just sat there gazing at him. What a photo! It looked like a publicity shot for a movie star. Then it dawned on me. This wasn’t really him. He’d sent me this....why? It was cruel.
So, I didn’t know what to do next. Call him a jerk? Not reply? No, silly old Dana, I asked him really nicely “Is that really you? Because if it is, well.......woah!”. Then, not wanting to seem shallow, added “You look as good as your personality.” Yep, that was good, I liked that. And I sent it.
He thanked me for my opinion, said he’d had it taken in a proper studio,
but yes it was really him.
Then he apologized for not having spoken to me all week, but his father had been ill. I felt rather guilty. Well, I asked all the right questions about his Dad, everything was smoothed over and our relationship went back to normal.
Who am I trying to fool? No it didn’t. I had the hugest crush on him now. Every time I chatted to him I had his photo in front of me. I’d printed it out, and when it wasn’t as good quality as I’d have liked, I took the file into a photo store on a disk and had it printed properly. Then I framed it. It sat beside my bed and satisfied many a lonely student’s dreams.
Six full months passed. You can’t accuse me of rushing these things. I sent him more of me, and he was always polite about them, but never enthused. Maybe he just didn’t want to give the wrong impression. He enthused enough over my thoughts and opinions. He loved my mind, he said, and I told him that was mutual. But he never made any suggestion about getting to know my body.
It wasn’t that he was so very far away. It was just an hour’s drive and I would have made the trek if need be, but I didn’t want to make the first move. Didn’t want to, but ultimately had to. I plucked up all the courage I had, which wasn’t much, and suggested a meet. At his convenience. Somewhere public so we could both run away if we needed too. No reply. My thoughts again drifted to the photo being bogus, to him really looking like Igor, to him really being maybe an old guy with a wife. And some thoughts scarier than that, I don’t even want to remember.
After a time you get to a now or never point with these things, and one day when I’d got him on Messenger I said “David, is there some reason why you don’t want to meet me? Be honest, whatever it is I can take it?”
There was a long pause, maybe five minutes. It seemed like an hour.
“OK,” he said “I haven’t been entirely honest with you. Look, I have really come to like you so much I don’t want you to go out of my life, OK?”
I promised him that was not even an option.
“Well, you say that now, but, well.......that photo I sent you....yes, it was me, but it wasn’t the whole truth”
Now I expected him to say it was 20 years old or something.
“Normally, I wear glasses.”
“Oh big fat deal David,” I said.
“No, wait,” he said “Really strong glasses. They’re minus 20"
That meant absolutely nothing to me, it just sounded like a really really cold temperature. But clearly this was notable. I understood that much from his serious tone. Then I tried to imagine how his beautiful face would look in glasses, but I couldn’t picture it, and certainly couldn’t visualize what he was trying to tell me. So I said “Send me a photo!”
“OK,” he said “But I warned you. It’s not that I don’t want to meet you Dana, I really do. I’m free on Saturday, and I have a car. What I don’t want is to meet you and get rejected...... I’ll get a new photo for you.”
Again a wait of several days. I assumed he’d trotted back to the studio to get the most flattering shot he could, if he was so worried it was going to put me off. I started looking around at guys in glasses. They looked OK. Some of them were hot. I looked for blond surfer boy types in glasses. They looked fine. I don’t think I caught on at all.
I opened this attachment when it came far more eagerly, and I was......shocked.
I closed it again.
I stood up, felt a bit dizzy, and sat down again. I forced myself to open it again, and look, really look. I told myself he was still the same person, still the same lovely beach bum hair, and his eyes sparkled like emeralds behind those thick lenses. And his smile.........oh what a cruel trick of nature. I started to cry.
Helena walked in, saw the picture and announced “Woah! Cool glasses!”. Cool? How could you say cool? I hid my tears and told her “That’s my David”.
You have to understand that at some level, impossible as it may seem - as we’d never met, I had fallen in love with him. I had pictured myself with him, showing him off to my friends, going to parties, talking for hours into the night, running my fingers through his hair.......
Helena, never one to know what to say, announced “Well, he’s different”. I ignored her.
I didn’t want to make him wait for my reply. I wanted to deal with this. I took the photo on disk to the same place, and had it printed properly. I framed it. I sat and looked at it all evening.
Now, I’m not sure what happened next. I’m not sure if Cupid shot me, or what it was, but I started thinking that maybe I liked what I was looking at. I don’t want you to think I just got past the glasses. That I had realized I was being shallow, or anything virtuous like that. I’m not even saying they grew on me. Really. I’d like to think I was a nice person who could see inner beauty or some nonsense. But that wasn’t it. Some guard somewhere dropped. The preconceptions I’d learned over the years fell away. At first, I thought to myself that his glasses were “interesting”. Yes, that was the word. More specific than Helena’s “Cool”. And she said he was different. Well, different is good, isn’t it? Different is the opposite of plain, boring, same old same old. And I thought I really liked the way they looked. And then....something stirred deep inside me, and it was a sensation I knew only too well. His glasses were turning me on. It was unbearable. I had to go into the bathroom (carrying his picture!) and deal with it. And that was pretty much that. Damn, I wanted him.
I found him on Messenger. I didn’t bother with any preliminaries, I just
“I LOVE your glasses, can’t wait to see you on Saturday.”
Another 5 minute pause and he replied:
I really was looking forward to seeing him on Saturday. And yet even then, even though his photo with his glasses on had kept me comfortable every night through the week, or maybe because of that - I was still a bundle of nerves. I wasn’t sure exactly what I had gotten myself into here - this was unknown territory. This was stepping over that line, you know, the comfort zone. I was stepping into another world, a world of Victorian style freak-show carnality almost, lusting for someone’s disability. Good grief what was I DOING? And - instead of running from the reality of the darkness of it all there I was eagerly looking for my sideshow attraction. Ladies and Gentlemen, the very myopic man......
We’d arranged to meet in a park, a neutral zone. It was busy, but you couldn’t miss those glasses, and he would stand out in any crowd anyway. He was well over six feet tall and extremely buff. He dressed to show off his muscles and I didn’t blame him one bit. Yes, some people were looking at him, some discreetly, but others more obviously, and a group of young guys were pointing and giggling. A wave of protectiveness came over me and instead of the carefully rehearsed words I had planned, I found myself making a big display of rushing towards him and embracing him, right in front of our “audience”. Their reaction was priceless, and I knew exactly what they were thinking - “How did the guy in the weird glasses get that knockout blonde with the big hooters” - because one of them stopped laughing and looked at me pathetically. I gave him the finger, and hugged my man tighter.
I guess I’d taken him aback a little, he smiled at me but seemed overcome.
“I’m sorry” I said “I’ve just waited so long!”
He seemed completely reassured by that, and then we both trotted out our rehearsed pieces, both realizing exactly what we were doing, and then both falling into fits of laughter and hugging again, even more warmly. I was suddenly very grateful that we’d agreed to meet in a public place because I think if we’d been alone I’d have jumped him right there - I suddenly found the song “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road” was playing in my head.
We wandered through the park, hand in hand, and we talked about all sorts of things. For someone tall and with an obvious difference, he stood very straight and confident, and walked with a good stride. I got the feeling his self-esteem was generally high, after all, he really was a handsome guy, but girls can be strange. I should know. Looking up at him as we chatted I got to see his glasses from other angles. They were amazing, the lenses were half an inch thick at the sides. They sparkled in the sunlight like jewels. I felt like I was on a date with a huge blond diamond.
By this time we’d reached the ocean front and we sat on the sand. It was hot but the breeze took the edge off, and we were able to relax completely. I couldn’t take my eyes off his glasses, but I didn’t have to. I was doing what any dutiful girl does on a date, gazing into her man’s eyes. I’d made my mind up, 100% by this point. This was what I wanted. It was going to be a wild ride though.
He suggested a movie. I hadn’t been to the movies in such a long time, and it sounded a very romantic proposition, intimate and yet still public, for delicacy. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea - ah there’s the rub. My desires for him went beyond romantic, but I couldn’t rush it and put him off. He seemed so wholesome, so well brought-up and gentlemanly.
We chose a fun movie. I cursed the armrest between us but he did at least put his arm around my shoulder. So I put my head on his. I was enjoying the show but it didn’t have my full attention. I found myself gazing at him instead, and then, oh my, it happened again - I started to get really turned on. Maybe I gave off some hormone at that point, or it was just a coincidence but he chose that moment to stroke my hair and kiss me, just quickly. Ooh! That was nice! Too nice in fact.....I was excited. I had to hold back. I didn’t want to give the impression that I didn’t like it. I loved it, but I couldn’t let this continue here. I gave him a peck on the cheek in return, and my face touched his glasses. That was it. I had to excuse myself
“I’ll be right back, hold on, don’t go anywhere....” I said and rushed for the ladies’ room, where I had to relieve my frustration. Then I had to get myself back together very quickly. I splashed some water on my face, counted to twenty, took a deep breath, and returned.
He began to kiss me again. I couldn’t do this.
“Not here, I said” grabbed his hand and led him out the emergency exit.
I knew of a very quiet spot with trees that wasn’t too far. It was far enough that by the time we got there I felt a sense of urgency I can’t describe. He didn’t push me away when I put my hand right on his crotch, and from what I felt inside he was as ready for this as I was, and I opened my shirt for him! I’m proud of my beasts, they’re the real thing, and way oversized for my frame, and he seemed to like them too, especially when they fell out into his hands. He undid his pants, then pulled down mine, and without further ado he pushed his erection inside me. It’s not true what they say about tall guys, he was big everywhere. I don’t think I’ve ever made love so passionately before or since. After all I was sex-starved and I think maybe he was too. We reached the beautiful high together and I heard a voice cry out somewhere, then realized it was mine. He was in no hurry to leave me and I was in no hurry for him to go. After some more kisses and his big gentle hands exploring every square inch of my breasts we made love again, a little less hurried this time. He stroked my hair, and my cheek, and I did his, and I made sure I included his glasses as I was stroking. He smiled. Maybe he knew.
I wanted him to meet my friends. I was very proud of him yet I felt certain they’d not understand. So maybe not yet, I had to have time to think about that. Instead, I accepted his invitation to go back with him and stay the rest of the weekend at his parents’ home, which quite conveniently, we would have all to ourselves. “They’re in Atlanta, and no-one else has a key, we’ll be completely undisturbed.”
It was a nice drive down the coast, we chatted very comfortably, and the journey seemed to be too soon over. I loved watching him drive - there was something erotic about the way those beautiful glasses enabled him to see the road ahead - I can’t explain it. Where he lived was stunning. His family were obviously not short of money, as they’d bought him a brand new car for college and there were two others parked in the garage. I knew he was an only child so these were obviously his parents’. Very nice.
The house was open-plan, very light, very modern. So different to the gothic pile I came from out east. His room was large and had a king-size bed “It’s the only one long enough for me” he laughed. He left the drapes wide open - the house was surrounded by trees, and we had total privacy. We wasted no time and undressed each other fully. He looked at me all over, ran his hands up and down my body, and pronounced me perfect. He knelt before me like a medieval knight worshipping his lady, bowed his head, and joked that he was not worthy. I lifted his chin, looked him straight in the eye and said he was the only one worthy. He smiled so warmly I thought I’d melt. It was a special knowing smile. He knew I’d accepted him without any proviso.
He’d had so many of those before apparently. Girls would show interest in him, or at least pretend to, because he really was a very attractive guy, but they always ended up asking him could he perhaps wear contacts, and then he knew. That wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to be accepted as is. I had demonstrated that I accepted him fully, with no questions. With no ifs or buts. So he offered me the information freely. No, he couldn’t wear contacts, it wasn’t an option. And he could see nothing at all without his glasses, so that was who he was. Take it or leave it. I took it. Twice more that night actually, and then we slept peacefully until midday on Sunday......
I woke first and got my first chance to see him without his glasses on. I realized it was something I wasn’t going to see very often, so I relished it, and there he was, just like the first photo he sent me, he looked like an angel as he slept. His glasses were on the nightstand beside him, and not knowing how soundly asleep he was, I resisted the urge to reach over and handle them. I knew I’d get a chance eventually. It could wait. I expected him to put them on the moment he woke, but he didn’t. He turned to me, smiled, and made love to me again, this time in his blindness. I felt like I was getting a treat, something others didn’t see. Yes, that was it, this version of him, was mine. And it was precious. I later found out that the photo I had of him not wearing his glasses was the only one in existence.
I found out lots of other things too. How he never remembered a time when he didn’t wear glasses. He showed me baby photos of him in tiny glasses. I found out he was so helpless without them that he never went anywhere without a spare pair in a pocket somewhere. I also found out something else that I really didn’t expect - he had no animosity towards his poor sight, and he liked his glasses. His animosity was reserved for people who didn’t share his feelings! He was very comfortable with who he was, and was delighted - and surprised - that he’d finally met someone like me.
Someone like me. A weirdo. Oh but the truth could wait. Despite all his openness and honesty I still had to hold back the awful truth. I’d developed a fetish. There was no other way to describe it. I only had to THINK about his glasses and I felt a twinge of pleasure. I wasn’t sure if he could handle that. He was a very passionate man, but I really didn’t know about that.
He drove me home quite late. We’d had a fabulous weekend, and now we had to concentrate on our studies at our respective places of learning. He was in his post-graduate year and had a lot to do. He’d given up two whole days to me and would probably have to work through the night now. I was a bit behind myself. So we agreed that we would see each other again in two weeks. He kissed me 14 times as if to mark off each day. I watched him drive away, and I went up to face the music. Helena and Rani were absolutely frantic to hear where I’d been all this time, and I just smiled and winked.
“Oh my God!” yelled Helena, “you’ve been screwing David!” She really had a way with words. Breathlessly, she turned to a bemused Rani, who remembered hearing me mention him, but couldn’t remember where. “You remember” she berated Rani “the guy she talks to on-line all the time - THEY GOT TOGETHER!!”.
Then she remembered - “Did he wear those glasses?” and I told her he wore them all the time, except when sleeping, the whole story. Well, not quite the whole story.
Rani insisted on seeing the photos of him, and just gave me one of her looks. You never quite knew what she was thinking, but I got the impression she thought I’d lost it. She said nothing.
“Anyway” I told them, “you’ll get to meet him in two weeks time, so be nice to him, OK?”
“Damn” said Helena “I’m going to be away most of that weekend.”
“Your loss” I said.
Two weeks can drag, but I kept myself busy. I got everything up to date then spent Friday evening cleaning our apartment. Helena was not what you’d call house proud, and Rani was hardly ever in. She was one of the library denizens. A serious student who could teach me a thing or two about sticking to my plans. But only a few weeks to go until finals and I could relax.
David arrived exactly when he said he would, and Rani had already left. Helena was just leaving and I introduced him to her, she winked at me as she left and he noticed, and grinned.
“So” I said “Welcome to my spider’s web”.
“Am I trapped?” he laughed, and looked confused. Well, I’d started now, so I ought to go through with it, I’d spent two weeks planning this, and going crazy with desire for him.
“Well, maybe” I said, cautiously “I, um, had this idea”
“OK”, tell me. He gave me a look that reassured me. I felt he was open to anything. I crossed my fingers.
“Well, I hope this doesn’t scare you......I was thinking may I could take your glasses away from you, and hold you as my blind sex-slave. Just for a few hours anyway. You can have them back any time if you ask, of course.”
“You’re a very soft jailer” he said. “OK”
Simple as that! Wow! So that’s what we did. He submitted, I made all the moves. I deadlocked the door, in the rare chance that Rani would come back, took his glasses off, stripped him naked, and led him to my bed. The smile never left his face. He placed so much trust in me. We did it until we could do it no more. I dressed him, and gave him his glasses back. I loved putting them on him and watching his look change.
“If we keep this up” he said “you’ll go blind too!”
“Aha!” I said “We know how you spent your previous lives then!”
Somehow I saw him as a Viking. A big strong Viking marching into villages and having the women beg to be taken first.
At precisely the time I expected Rani to return, after we were both decent, had eaten, and were just hugging on the couch in front of the TV, she walked in and gave him a cold greeting. I wasn’t very happy with her. I was particularly displeased when she joined us without asking and said “Those are some glasses you’ve got there, what’s your Rx?” Rani always seemed to know the technical side to everything, even though she was a business major. But of course she wore glasses herself, so maybe this was fair conversation between two “fellow” myopes. I hoped he didn’t mind. He actually seemed amused, and told her readily.
“Interesting” she said “I thought these days even at that strength you could get thinner lenses.”
“Yes,” he said “you can.....but I like these”.
They exchanged an odd look which was lost on me. She shrugged, finished what she was eating and went back out. I apologized for her rudeness.
“It’s OK” he said “That reply surprises most people.” and he laughed to himself.
The next morning when I awoke, he was already up. He was sitting drinking coffee at the table and talking to Rani. I hoped her coldness wasn’t covering sinister motives, and I was somewhat jealous. Instead of making my presence known straightaway I eavesdropped.
She was going on about thinner lenses again. I wanted to smack her and tell her to leave him alone, but he had the upper hand.
“Then I’d be missing out on half the fun” he said “don’t you understand?”
I certainly didn’t, and I walked forward, not even trying to cover the fact I’d been listening. I glared at Rani, and sat down beside David, looking confused. She grabbed her bag and walked out.
“I don’t understand David” I said “What is she saying”
“She’s saying that modern optics can produce thinner, lighter lenses with the same strength. They’ve become the norm, everyone wants them. They’re expensive for my Rx, but I can afford it, I choose to stay with these thicker, heavier lenses. I like them. I like the way they feel, and I like the way I look in them. But most of all I like the effect they have on you.”
“I think they’re great,” I told him honestly “in fact....well.....they turn me on.”
“I know,” he said, laughing “it’s obvious! So, you think I want to mess that up? Not a chance!”
I felt a bit silly, but also relieved. He saw right through me, and I hadn’t realized. But I had to add “but you know I’d love you anyway, you do know that, right? I mean, I fell in love with you before I saw them, you must know that. They’re just...a bonus!”
He nodded, he understood very well. Something told me I hadn’t been the first.
“You’d be surprised” he confirmed “Quite a few women, more than you’d expect, really go for guys in strong glasses. I don’t exactly know why, and I don’t care. I’ve come across some, OK I admit I sought them out, but in other ways, they weren’t really my type. Anyway, I was just a young guy getting some action. It was OK. But you, you’re everything I could ever want in a woman, and, you love me as I am, and you love me as I’m not. You love me helpless and you love me strong. I can’t ask for any more than that. You can indulge your fetish and so can I. We’re made for each other.”
“Well,” I said laughing “if you put it like that!”
Then he explained how he never let anyone try them on no matter how insistent they were. He said “I’ve had to deck a few guys in my time. They always seem surprised I can fight. I tell them it’s only my eyes that are weak.” Well, if they didn’t realize that, then they deserved all they got, it was obvious what a powerful man he was. But he said I could try them on, so that I knew. I felt really honored. It was like the ultimate gesture of trust. I couldn’t see a thing through them, and they were very heavy, and of course still warm. I handed them back.
“But really” I said “It doesn’t bother you that I have..this fetish..which incidentally I didn’t KNOW I had until you came along.....you don’t think I’m weird, you really don’t mind?”
“Mind? I love it! Look...how can I feel any other way, when you are just reflecting my vibe? Oh how can I explain it to you Dana....I know, you’ve got really big breasts, and they’re fabulous. They get me right HERE...” and he took my hand and put it on his the bulge in his jeans, which was growing as we spoke......”well, tell me, how do you feel about your own breasts? Do you hate them?”
“OK then, tolerate them?”
“Wish they weren’t QUITE so big?”
“Do you like them?”
“Get a kick out of them yourself, even when no-one else is around?”
“And they’re part of who you are right? And you enjoy your own attributes? And as an added bonus others enjoy them too? You don’t mind that do you? If someone makes fun of them do you care?”
Then I understood. I understood exactly what he was trying to tell me. I never needed to doubt it, this was going to be incredible.
At last, finals were over and the summer stretched before us like the blue ocean. To celebrate my freedom I was going to spend a week at David’s - and meet his parents. I found the prospect rather intimidating really. I just wanted to be alone with him, instead I’d have to make polite conversation with these upmarket people. But I knew I would have to do it sooner or later, especially if he was to become a fixture in my life. That was the plan after all.
But first I spent my last evening with my roomies, the ever dour Rani and the crazy Helena. After a few drinks Rani wasn’t so uptight, and Helena was, well, she was Helena. Despite some differences we cried at our parting of the ways, and promised to keep in touch. As far as Helena was concerned I really meant it. We’d lived in each others pockets for three years and there was a bond. Rani was going back to India so there wasn’t much chance we’d see each other again, but I took her home address anyway, and fantasized, rather nastily really, that I’d use it for a wedding invitation she’d have to turn down. Eventually it was too late, we all headed for bed, but Rani turned back. Then she did a really strange thing. She hugged me.
“Dana, this is going to sound like jealousy or sour grapes or something, but I want you to listen to me. Before you get seriously involved with that boy think carefully about the future. ”
She sounded so sincere, so, un-Rani-like, that for once I did really listen. But I wasn’t sure what she meant, so I asked her outright.
“It’s hard to put into words without sounding insulting,” she replied “but let’s say some of his choices don’t make any sense. In fact they’re quite disturbing. Think about it.”
I did. I couldn’t sleep. I kept going over it in my head. But I was in too deep now.
David collected me and all my junk in his father’s SUV. What a great car. It had a hitch on the back, and he told me we were going out on his parents’ boat one last time before they sold it.
“They’re retiring” he said “and moving to the East, that’s where they come from. I’m staying out here, so I’ll have to find a place of my own.”
I was hoping, maybe even half-expecting him to ask me there and then to share it with him, but nothing more was said. I thought it would be a bit much to suggest it, so I put that idea on hold. It was a rather nice idea though.
When we arrived his parents greeted him as if he’d been away a week instead of a couple of hours, but they greeted me just as warmly. It was a bit overwhelming, but nice at the same time. They put me completely at ease in fact. We had lunch, and then David excused himself to help his father get the boat ready. This was all new to me. My family’s sole vehicle was a truck, but I didn’t mention that. I just said we lived in the country and when they asked what my father did I told them he was a salesman and didn’t offer anything further. David would learn about my humble origins soon enough, maybe, if I ever had to tell him. I just wanted to forget it.
Joan, David’s mother was easy to talk to, and we chatted while getting a few things together for our boat trip, but I wasn’t expecting what came next at all.
“I expect you’re wondering why we don’t mind you sleeping with David.”
You could have knocked me down with a feather. A very small feather. Nothing had actually been mentioned about exactly where I’d be sleeping during my stay, and I didn’t see where David’s father put my larger bags. But they had disappeared. Obviously they’d been put in David’s room. I didn’t know what to say, so I told the truth. She laughed.
“Oh, Dana, I’m sorry, he should have told you. Don’t worry, we’re not going to make a big thing out of it, in fact we’ll act as if it was nothing, but I ought to tell you that it means a lot to me that David has found a girl like you.”
Like me? What on earth had he said?
“I’m really very ordinary actually........” I begun, but she had something to get off her mind.
“Dana, we are aware that David is different to other boys because of his bad eyesight. We’ve always done everything we could to make up for that. I’m a woman, I know how girls can be, and he’s never had any real luck romantically. Now that he’s found you, someone who, well, loves him for who he is, the least I can do is not get in your way. Especially as it’s my fault.”
A look of regret that only a mother can have came over her, and I told her to continue.
“You seem like the sort of person who’ll understand, Dana. David’s biological father, and that’s about all he was, he may as well have been a sperm donor for all that he’s done for his son, well, he was in a band. We were on the road when David was born.”
“Oh my God” I blurted out, I couldn’t hold it back “You don’t seem the type!”
“Well, you see, I was, very much the type. No more than a groupie really Dana. We had a relationship of sorts, but it was very short-lived. I’m not sure it would have lasted anyway but after....... like I said, we were on the road, and David was a healthy baby, thankfully, so we never saw a doctor, and I just got behind on things, like his shots. I kept meaning to get them done, but we were always on the move. Well, before I got round to it, David got measles. He was really ill, I thought I was going to lose him.....”
She broke down. I put my hand on her shoulder.
“....it’s OK Dana, just a lot of guilt. I’ve never told anyone this before. Not even Bill. Actually....not even David.”
She wiped her tears.
“I really thought I was going to lose my little boy. He was such a sweet age, about 18 months old, and full of energy. I just enjoyed him so much, and then he was so sick. I didn’t even take him to a doctor then, I just kept him cool, and hugged him. But eventually his fever went down, and the rash went away, but he wasn’t right. He wasn’t David anymore. Instead of the bouncy fun little guy I knew he just sat there all day hugging his toys. His.....father....thought he was brain-damaged, and he told me to get rid of him.........”
That was it, the floodgates. She sobbed until I swear I heard her heart break - how many years had she held this all in?
“He wanted to just leave him in a church, or a mall or somewhere, it was all too inconvenient for him.......so I collected what things I had together, took David and left. I had nowhere to go. I’d traveled right across the country with the band. I had no money, nothing. I didn’t have the courage to call my parents. I didn’t know what to do Dana, all I had in the world was David, and I didn’t know what was wrong with him, and I was on the street.”
“Well, I just started walking and it started to rain, so I stopped inside a doorway, and a lady coming by asked me if I needed any help. I told her I was homeless, and she was so kind, she got me a room in her building for free until I found a job, and she watched David while I worked. Then one day when I was picking him up she said to me “I think there’s something wrong with your boys eyes”. I hadn’t even thought of that. I thought it was his mind you see. We took him to her doctor, and he said the illness had damaged his eyes. It seemed so simple when they said he just needed glasses, and he’d be fine, and he was. I mean he started to run and jump and play again. It made such a difference to him. But you never saw such a little boy in such strong glasses. Then as he got older it got worse, they warned me that would happen.”
“Of course he got teased at school, but I always made sure he had the right answers, and knew how to run if he needed to. And when he got bigger, well I’d met Bill by then, and he taught him how to fight. Bill was so good. He has been a real father to him. He’s always been there for him. And, I don’t need to tell you, Bill has provided well for us. His business has been really successful, we’ve had everything we needed and more....David has had everything. Except a girl, you see, and now....I just want you two to be happy.”
It made sense. I was proud of her, she wasn’t cosseting her only child, like it would be so easy to do, she was giving him wings.
David and his father arrived back and ended our chat abruptly, but I thought I understood what she was trying to get across to me. Her boy was so precious to her.
We carried food and drinks down to the jetty and got into the boat. It was a beautiful afternoon with a breeze and the guys took turns at the wheel. Each time it was David’s turn I stood next to him and he showed me places along the coast that he knew, and promised to take me. Finally his parents went below and gave us some space. I swear I saw Bill wink at me.
This was the return journey, and it was so incredibly romantic being beside him, as the sky got redder over the water, and we watched the sun go down together, just before we reached his home. Even then we stayed on the boat after it was tied up, and just sat talking. I saw his parents pull the drapes across up in the house, and I understood. He did too.
“Did you ever make love on a boat?” he asked, and moved closer.
“Actually, I’ve never been on a boat before.”
“Really? Then we MUST introduce you to the movement of the ocean.”
My dress buttoned all the way down the front. He started at the bottom, and as he opened each one I felt my desire for him rising inside me. By the time he reached my waist I wanted him to hurry, but he was savoring every button. Finally he opened the button between my breasts and my dress just fell away. I had nothing on underneath. He seemed surprised at that, but delighted. He looked up at me and the lights from the jetty reflected in his thick glasses. Without a word he reached for a blanket under the bench, laid it down on the deck, put his strong arms under my back and my thighs and lowered me down onto it. He ran his hands up and down my body, and I tingled all over, I wanted his hardness inside me, and he didn’t make me wait any longer. Quickly he took off his pants, entered me firmly, and a huge smile came over his face. As he thrusted he told me he loved me over and over. When it was all over, I held him very tight, and I told him,
“I love you so much it terrifies me.”
He kissed me and nuzzled my face and I could feel his glasses against my cheek. It was so fantastic that I started to cry, and he thought he’d hurt me, but I reassured him.
“Oh my God I love it when you do that” I told him “and I can’t explain why, but please, do it again.”
He laughed, and laid his head on my shoulder. I could feel the thickness of the lenses against my neck. It was so beautiful, that I totally lost myself in the sensation. We lay there for so long it started to cool off. I half got up, intending to button up my dress, but as I looked at him I was overwhelmed again with the way his eyes looked, the sparkle of the lights in those amazing lenses, and the metal arms reaching into his blond hair. I reached down to feel if his pants were still undone and was greeted instead by a big erection, which I eagerly slid onto, and I rode him like a pony. In my passions, sweat dripped from my brow onto his glasses, and when we were done I took them from him, to clean them on the top of my dress. It was a service I hoped to perform regularly, and he seemed happy to let me.
Even at just a couple of feet away, I guess I was a blur he didn’t even attempt to focus on, but as I got slowly closer to kiss him I saw him squint for the first time as I was almost, but not quite sharp.
Then, just a couple of inches from his eyes he said, “I can see you there”. And he smiled. I think that was the moment when I realized just how very bad his eyes were, and how helpless he was. Rani’s words went through my head. He was happy with this situation, everyone worried about him, but he seemed to revel in it. I was curious about something, but now was not the time to ask. I wondered how he explained his preference for the older-style lenses to his eye doctor and family. Also, considering how the cost would be no big deal, his parents were bound to have offered to pay for him to have laser surgery at some point. How had he explained that he didn’t want it? No, now was not the time to ask. I was afraid he might misunderstand my questions, he might think I wasn’t happy with him as he was - but I was. I wasn’t like the others. And I didn’t want to give him ANY doubts.
As I finished polishing his glasses and put them back on him, I couldn’t resist asking him however,
“Do you feel vulnerable?”
He grinned, broadly, but said nothing. I wasn’t sure, but I got the feeling that meant the answer was yes, and he liked it. There was something more he wasn’t telling me. He was enjoying this.
We dressed ourselves, straightened each others hair out, and made our way back up to the house. It was quite a steep path and he went ahead, holding my hand and pulling gently so that the ascent was effortless. I really hadn’t chosen my shoes very carefully, well, I hadn’t packed for a boat trip, I had only the tiniest heels, but dead flat would have been better, and as I stumbled slightly on an unlevel step he felt it immediately and grasped my hand much tighter, stopping me from falling.
“Do you feel vulnerable?” he asked, and beamed.
After a week at David's home there was no doubt in anyone's mind that we were an item. I adored his parents, and got the feeling it was mutual. There was a lot of whispering beteen them on Saturday, and at dinner Bill appeared to have something on his mind, and finally, he launched into a speech.
"As you all know, I have had some health problems recently, and we've decided to retire to our old stomping grounds. I've given it a lot of thought, and having seen how, David, you have grown into a man, I'd like you to consider taking over the business for me. "
There was a stunned silence. Clearly this had come as a surprise to David.
"I know you can do it David, especially now you have a good woman to support you. You know, of course, that you will have this house...it's yours to do as you wish, live here or sell it and buy something else, but there's room for two......"
David exchanged a strange look with his stepfather, then smiled and got up from the table. He returned quickly with a small box, and looked at Bill, who nodded, and Bill and Joan left us alone. I was totally lost.
Then David knelt on the floor beside me, and opened the box. It was a ring.
"I know if I was to do this properly, I'd ask your Father first, but I know you aren't close to your family, so I'm taking a chance that you won't mind.....Dana, will you marry me?"
If you've ever stood on a very high platform and looked down, that feeling is what went through me. Although I was sitting down I felt like I was going to faint, but I held it together. The rest of the world had flown away somewhere, all there was left in the universe was my man, looking up at me, his green eyes behind his thick glasses matching the emerald on the ring. I didn't have to think about it, I just had to make my mouth work. My throat was bone dry, but I managed a whisper, the best I could muster, and told him
His face lit up, he put the ring on my finger, and kissed my hand. Chivalry, I decided, was NOT dead. I just threw my arms around his neck, and he stood up, scooping me up in his strong arms as he did so. We kissed, over and over, and smiled, and.......it was magic, pure magic. We were going to be together forever.
Bill and Joan returned with champagne, and apologies for knowing about it before I did. But I didn't mind. David had had a surprise too. At the age of 22 he was the owner of a very successful business, had his own home and a fiancée who thought the sun shone from him. Well he deserved it. They talked business for over an hour, and I wasn't really listening, but I held his hand tight, and never flinched in my mock attention to these details.
"There's just one thing I do suggest" said Bill "Before I introduce you as my successor, get a haircut!"
"Not a chance" said David.
A few days later I was kissing him goodbye in a sharp business suit, as Bill took him for various legal formalities, and I went shopping with Joan. This was the pattern for a few weeks as she helped me prepare for a late summer wedding, and David got used to being a working man. What I had been putting off for so long had to be dealt with though, and when I had the place to myself one afternoon, I phone home. My brother answered the phone, and simply called to my Mom. Gee, I've missed you too Kyle. Mom sounded breezy enough.
"We expected you home by now, what's going on?"
"Well, a lot has happened, very quickly really. I'm getting married!"
There was total silence on the other end, and then a scream. I think she was excited.
"When?" she asked, then quickly "You're not pregnant, are you?"
"No! It is a bit sudden, I know, but there's no point waiting, I love him him Mom, he's my soulmate, I know this."
"But you're so young, what about jobs?"
"He has a great job, and we have somewhere to live, there's no problems. So we don't have any reason to wait. You will come, won't you?"
"Honey, you know we can't afford to come to California, or we would have visited you before - oh Dana, of course we WANT to come, but I don't see how we can?"
"Mom, we're paying."
Now all I could hear was crying. I knew why. My family had never had two cents to call their own, I'd got into college on a scholarship, and taken out a loan for the rest. And yes, I had blamed them. As far as I was concerned they were a bunch of losers, that may sound harsh, but that's how I saw it. They had dead-end jobs, no drive. They weren't bad people, but I wasn't exactly proud of them. That's why I'd gone to college, to be different. But, they were my folks, so I wanted them at my wedding.
My Dad came on the phone.
"My baby girl getting married? He's a lucky guy. What does he do?"
"He's running the family business"
"Well so do I!"
Not quite the same thing Dad. My Dad called himself an entrepreneur. Actually he bought and sold things, some of it not exactly legal, just like his father before him. He lost more than he made on most of his deals. He dressed like a gangster, talked as if he came from the Bronx, and paid cash for everything. He was going to stand out at a middle-class west coast wedding, but...he was my Dad. And Mom, Mom was a hairdresser........she came back on the line. She had calmed down.
"So what's he like, tall dark and handsome?"
"He's tall blond and handsome"
"Oh cute! Does he look like Brad Pitt?"
"Um, a bit, I guess. Better actually, yes..but.......Mom, he looks a bit different and I have to tell you now so that you can get over it before you get here, OK?"
"Not piercings and tattoos?"
"No!" I laughed, unsure if she was going to be relieved or not at what I was going to say, "he has really bad eyes Mom, he wears really thick glasses, like Dad would call coke bottles. It's Dad I'm worried about, I don't want him to try and be funny. It's not fair on David."
"Oh honey, don't WORRY! He can just wear contacts!"
"Um, no actually he can't. Look.....You're just going to have to get over it, OK? I'm relying on you here Mom, you're going to have to get Dad and Kyle to keep their thoughts to themselves. Threaten them if you have to. I'll send you a photo so they can laugh or do whatever they want to do, get it all out. Just remind them I love him."
"OK Dana, I understand. Trust me."
I didn't, but what else could I do. I'd warned them. I sent a photo of the two of us together the next morning, along with air tickets.
Three days later my Mom called me.
"Well honey, he is different, but you know what, I think he's cute."
I was stunned.
"Really? You're not just saying that to spare my feelings?"
"No, I mean it. And I showed him to the girls at work. They all said the same thing, hey if he has to wear them, he has to. He's still cute."
It meant a lot to me, for some reason. Why it mattered to me what other peple thought, I have no idea. It was me who was marrying him. Not that I could wait for that. When he came home at night all I could think of was getting him into bed. Joan and Bill were away at that point, due to come back for the wedding, so we did as we pleased. I never tired of his body. Sometimes I watched him working out, and sometimes, when I asked him, he worked out naked.
I did send wedding invitations to Helena and Rani, and a few other girls from college. To my surprise AND delight, they all said they were coming. Even Rani! All the way from India. We did a block booking at a nearby hotel for everyone, including my folks, and eventually the big day came. Keeping things traditional Bill took David to the same hotel the night before so that he wouldn't see me on the day before the ceremony. It was convenient for the church anyway, so no worries about Saturday traffic, and as my whirlwind summer came to its end the bells of Our Lady of the Sea rang out and we two became one.
Then back to OUR home where we entertained our guests on the clifftop. It was hard to tear myself away from him, but I was expected to mingle. My parents didn't show me up, although my brother did make a remark - to me - about David's glasses being bombproof. I told him David could take him, and he shut up. Everything went so well, the wind didn't blow too much, the food was good, no-one got too drunk, it was convivial and warm, and I was even pleased to see Rani. She congratulated me enthusiastically, and there was a real warmth in her hug.
"Well, you didn't listen to me, but you look very happy."
"I have to be honest Rani, I never understood what your problem was."
She looked at me, with that look, wiser than her years, and shook her head.
"You're so innocent Dana, but surely you realize by now, he has a fetish."
Him? I thought it was me?
"I'm sorry Rani, I don't......."
"Well, maybe I'm wrong then. Ignore me."
"No, say what you're thinking."
"He wears those glasses by choice Dana, he could have had surgery, he could at least minimize the look and feel by wearing high index lenses, but he revels in his weirdness."
"That's unkind Rani"
"Ask him. You're his wife now, you should have no secrets. Ask him. If I'm wrong, I apologize. Back in India I know of men who wear powerful contact lenses of the opposite strength to allow themselves to wear glasses that strong. They have a special fetish, they get off on their own look."
"David needs those glasses to see Rani, it's not cosmetic"
"No, so he has a head start, but.......don't listen to me, ask him"
And she kissed me, handed me a small gift, and went back to talk to the other college girls. It was a tiny Ganesh figure.
Eventually it was time to make our dramatic departure. We changed into traveling clothes, and got into the car to head for the airport. I had no idea where we were going, it was a surprise - all I knew was that I needed my passport. Two hours later I was on a flight to Greece, and falling asleep on the shoulder of my new husband.
The morning I awoke in our hotel room in Mykonos, I looked at David and felt like I was the luckiest woman alive. Outside was a breathtaking view too, but that could wait. I sat and watched him sleep until perhaps my watching him stirred him. Eventually he awoke, a few moments elapsed as he remembered where he was, and then, realizing I was there, he pulled me toward him so he could see me. I loved it when he did that. He pushed my hair out of my face, and kissed me.
"Hello Mrs Andersen"
He pulled the thin cover back, and flipped it over me. He lifted up my breasts, pulled them together and kissed them. I reached down and found his early morning greeting ready for me, so I straddled him and pushed myself hard onto it. Then, as I had taught myself to do, I took long slow strokes, pulling hard on my pelvic muscles to give him the most pleasure possible, yet make it last as long as I could. In this way we usually managed to climax together, and then I laid on top of him while he was still inside me, because I never wanted him to withdraw. But nothing lasts forever, and of course eventually we pulled apart and just took in the breeze from the window and the sound of each other breathing. Now seemed like a good time to ask him a few questions. I had demonstrated my undying love for him, promised it too, and I had a right to know my love's innermost desires.
I reached for his glasses and put them on him. He smiled.
"David, this is going to sound funny, but you'd better not hold back. I'm crazy about your glasses, but then....I don't have to wear them. I'm just enjoying them from the convenience of here. I want to know why you enjoy wearing them so much, when most people wouldn't."
"Ah, well, yes, that is hard to answer. I didn't always."
"I thought not"
"Well, I didn't mind them, I was never one of those kids who hated wearing glasses. I never had to suffer too many taunts really, compared to some. But I think, when I was very young, if you'd asked me if I like wearing them, I'd have said no."
"So when did you change your mind?"
"Well it was a girl actually, I was about 13 I guess, you know, puberty strikes and suddenly the opposite sex doesn't seem so revolting. And I'd discovered that this thing between my legs had a mind of its own......well, it was easily aroused by girls anyway, but I was kissing a girl at a school dance and she said she liked my glasses. And she touched them. I had to go outside, actually......I had to crawl behind a fence and jerk off. I've never forgotten that. I've forgotten her face, her name, but I remember the association. "
I laughed, remembering our first date and the movie theater.
"Oh I understand"
"Oh yes, well, in a way, but it is a bit different, I mean, I get turned on, HOPELESSLY turned on by your glasses, but are you saying you get turned on by them yourself"
"Not QUITE, I think what turns me on is other people's reaction, obviously in my teens it was quite an obsession, oh you know what we're like, we're the weaker sex. And I think .....yes....I do like the feel of them, that's harder to explain, but it just feels like me. I think it's comfort more than anything, I feel naked without them, and not in a good way. And then when I met you and you went overboard......well, you did!"
"But you don't make that public do you, I mean, you don't tell your parents"
"So how do you explain to them, and to your doctor, that you don't want high index lenses"
"Yes, that WAS a problem. I did get some once actually, and when I got them I wore them for like two days, then told my parents I hated them - they felt too light, not right, and eventually I got what I wanted. Eventually they stopped asking. They also suggested I get surgery but I just kept turning it down. People ask why a lot you know but they give up eventually. And as I've got older I've got more creative. I don't care what people think. They can't read my mind so they can only guess anyway. I don't care what anyone thinks except you. If you ever change your mind, and decide the way I look is too, I don't know, unusual?..... for you Dana, I will do something about it."
Wow. I couldn't believe he said that. I understood how important it was to him, and yet, he'd do that, for me?
"It's never going to happen David, I think I'm addicted to your glasses, I think they're connected by some invisible cord directly to me - and you know where!"
And he gave me THAT look. That look through his sparkling lenses that made me...... moist. And he rolled me over and pulled my legs apart. I just welcomed him in. Lucky me, I just married a man with thick glasses and a huge dick too. He knew how to use both to please me, he knew exactly how to move his head around mine so that his glasses caressed my face. He knew how to move on top of me to thrill me beyond words. He knew when to hold back, and when to thrust harder. And he knew how to hold me afterwards, entwined so I could look into his eyes. He knew how to love me. We lay there silently a long time. Then he remembered
"Addicted huh?" he asked.
"Yes addicted, and it couldn't get any worse........er, better"
"I think it could" he said smiling "When we get home it's time for my next check-up, and I KNOW I'll need stronger lenses"
I beamed in delight and sat up.
"Please no more" he pleaded, laughing.
"You brought this on yourself" I said, as I went down on him.
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