LOVE’S LABOUR’S LOST

—odd pages of another ‘Story from Shakespeare’

 

This book belongs to

Keith Magee

14 Wisteria Walk,

Little Whinging,

Surrey.

 

Hic liber est meus,

Testis est Deus.

Si quis furetur

Per collum pendetur.

 

Him that takes what isn’t his’n

When he’s catched will go to pris’n.

 

Mum asked me today why I sit so close to the television. I told her the truth, I said that’s the way I like to watch it.

Mum’s bothering me again—why do I hold the book so close when I’m reading? I told her the truth again, that’s the way I like to read. Then she asked if I can see the board OK in school. I told the truth, I said yes I can. I didn’t tell her I sometimes see it better if I screw my eyes up, so maybe that wasn’t the whole truth, but it was nothing but the truth. I don’t know why she keeps asking these questions.

The cat’s out of the bag, Mum thinks I need glasses. After supper I heard her asking Dad the name of the opticians where his cousin Robin works. He said “It’s Shakespeare’s isn’t it. Why?” She said, “I want to take Keith for an eye test; you know the way he sits right up against the telly and the way he holds a book when he reads, there was an article in my magazine that said those are signs that he’s short-sighted. I think he needs glasses.” Dad said, “But Robin’s a bit, you know.” Mum said, “What a way to talk about your cousin.” Dad said, “A row of army tents isn’t in it.” I don’t know what all that was about but I’m not bothered. I don’t want an eye test; I can see just fine.

Mum said at teatime, “I’m taking you up to town on Saturday to have an eye test and get glasses if you need them.” “I don’t,” I said. “Well, I think you do, and if you can’t see properly you won’t do well at school.” I don’t need glasses, there’s nothing wrong with my eyes.

Eye test today; when they tell Mum I don’t need glasses she’ll have to stop going on about it.

Later

Well, I had my eye test this morning and guess what, the guy said I am short-sighted and I do need glasses, so Mum was right. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!!!!! (Now I’ll have to keep this book out of sight; Mum gets mad if I say bugger, never mind fuck.)

I thought I’d done all right in the test till he gave me a piece of paper and said, “There’s your prescription; Robin will help you chose your frames.” I said, “But I read right to the bottom line of letters,” and he said, “Yes, with the lenses you need.” So I had to choose frames. I thought maybe I could get the kind folks won’t notice (they’re called rimless) but they cost more for some reason and Robin told Mum not to spend too much ’cause I’ll probably need stronger glasses quite soon—hey, thanks Robin. So she made me get cheap frames that make me look a dork. This Robin has to be Dad’s cousin that they were talking about; I think he’s a poof, he kept touching me…maybe that’s what Dad meant the other night. Anyway he told me I look cute in glasses…he wears glasses too, with round gold wire frames and thick lenses that make his eyes look really big.

I’m not going to wear them if I can help it; I guess Mum’ll make a fuss if I don’t wear them at home, but if nobody at school knows I have them they won’t know any different. I don’t want to be a nerd, I don’t want to get laughed at in school, I DON’T WANT TO WEAR GLASSES.

Had to go and collect my glasses this morning. They tried them on my face and adjusted them to make sure they fitted right and then told me to look out through the shop window. I was gobsmacked; I didn’t know things could be as clear as that—I could read the signs on the other side of the street. They gave me a case for my glasses and said was I going to keep them on. I said not just now and put them in the case and the case in my pocket. But when I got home Mum said, “Where are your glasses? They won’t do you any good in your pocket,“ and I had to put them on. I know what I’m going to do though.

I don’t wear my glasses in school. Mum thinks I wear them all the time but I take them off and put them away as soon as I leave the house. They make things clearer, but I can manage pretty good without them. I have to wear them when I’m out with her, and I always hope nobody I know sees me. Church too, I suppose. Just as well all the rest of my class are protestants. Gavin who’s a couple of years above me goes to our church … I like him and wish I could have him for a friend; he’s really good looking with long fair hair but I wouldn’t like him to see me wearing those nerdy glasses. Hey, I’ve just thought, if I go to Mass in the evening instead of in the morning with the rest of the family I don’t need to keep them on.

Went to Mass in the evening. Gavin was there; I couldn’t help thinking about him when I was having my bedtime wank and again when I woke up this morning. He’s tall and he’s slim, his hair is real fair and kind of long, and so is his skin, fair I mean. He has brown eyes, and he kind of half closes them when he looks at anything. He has nice hands too, and this morning I thought how nice it would be to have them on my dick instead of my own. Chance would be a fine thing.

Back to school today. I never really believed my eyes were bad, but they are, I know that now. Of course I had to wear my glasses most of the time in the holidays cause I was around Mum, and now that we’ve started back to school I’m really getting problems without them; I guess it really would be better if I put them on. But I don’t want anybody in school to know about them so I keep squinting…today the maths teacher said, “Magee, have you ever had an eye test?” I told the truth. I said, “Yes sir, I had one last term.” Well of course, that wasn’t the whole truth, but it wasn’t a lie either. It’s getting so that I almost want to wear my glasses in class, but I don’t want to be a nerd and I don’t want to get laughed at, and nobody knows my eyes are bad.

Nobody knows my eyes are bad—famous last words! They were picking teams for a game today, and as usual I was the last to be picked. What the captain of my team said was “I guess that leaves me with Magoo.” Everybody laughed but me. Nearsighted Mister Magoo! They must have known all along that I can’t see; I didn’t know where to look (no good looking very far these days). If I’m going to be mocked for not being able to see I might as well wear my glasses; I might still get mocked but at least I’d be able to see. I’ll have to think about that.

I’ve thought, and I’ve decided: I’m going to screw up my courage and do it.

Well, I did it. I never wanted to do it but I did it. I went into school this morning as usual with my glasses in my pocket. In the first lesson there was no need to read the board, but in the second lesson I took them out and put them on when the teacher started writing. Of course I could see everything pretty good without squinting and I kept them on all day and only took them off to go home. Nobody said anything much, but I could tell they were all looking.

They showed a film in church after Mass tonight: The Passion of the Christ. I started out watching it without my glasses same as usual, but I couldn’t see it; all the words were in a foreign language, Latin, I guess, and I couldn’t read the English subtitles. So I put my glasses on and it made a lot more sense. When we were leaving I heard a voice say, “Hey, Keith,” and it was Gavin. I didn’t know he was there and I didn’t know he knew my name. He said, “I didn’t know you had glasses; when did you get them?” “Oh, I’ve had them a while; I don’t wear them much, but I needed them for the subtitles in there.” “Right. Can I try them a minute?” Funny thing to ask, I thought, but I took them off and handed them over. Gavin put them on and looked around and said, “They make a big difference, don’t they?” “To me they do, definitely.” He said, “I’ve been thinking for a while I might need glasses; now I’ve tried yours I know I do.” What a thought: Gavin in glasses! He gave them back and I put them away. “Why don’t you keep them on all the time?” he asked. “Well, my Mum thinks I do, but I don’t like wearing them, only I sometimes get problems.” “OK; see you around.”

Well, I got a surprise this morning: Gavin came into school wearing glasses—already! “Hey Keith,” he said; “you see I got spex?” I didn’t have much to say, but he said, like on Sunday, he’d been thinking maybe he needed them because things were a bit fuzzy, so he asked to try mine and then he knew. He didn’t hang around, he went to a one-hour place after school yesterday and got them, and he means to wear them full time, he really likes the clear vision. He doesn’t have to worry about being a four-eyed geek, he’s no kind of geek. I wish I looked like him, and I kind of wish my glasses looked more like his. They have heavy black frames that look good against his fair hair, while mine are just, well, geeky. When we got to school he let me try his in the cloakroom so I could see how they looked on me—they looked not bad. They’re stronger than mine; I could see better with them. That reminded me about what Robin said, that I might need stronger glasses before long.

I don’t feel so bad about wearing glasses now Gavin has them too; I just don’t want to wear them full time like he does, not out in the street. He keeps telling everybody how much he likes them and how much he can see now that he couldn’t see before, and he can’t understand why I don’t want to wear mine and see good all the time. Anyway I don’t mind keeping them on a bit more around school, but I take them off when I leave, until I get home. Mum thinks I wear them all the time, and I guess it might be easier if I did, only I don’t feel like taking the plunge.

Funny thing, Gavin and I were talking outside school when this kid Liam who’s in my brothers’ class came by. We both had our glasses on and Liam said “Hi four eyes.” Gavin looked at him, grabbed him by the hair and said “Look kid, if two eyes are enough for you how come you squint like that?” Liam was gobsmacked; he said “I don’t squint—do I?” “You certainly do,” said Gavin. He does too. Liam went away kind of, well, subdued.

Liam has got glasses now. He came into school wearing them this morning. He said he never knew he was squinting and when Gavin said that to him he started wondering, so he told his folks and they took him for a test. He isn’t short-sighted like Gavin and me, he has a stigma something; He can’t see with my glasses and I can’t see with his, but he says he can see just great with them.

Trouble. I was walking home from school without my glasses, same as usual; Mum was on the other side of the street and saw me, but of course I can’t see that far and I didn’t know she was there. So when I got home the shit hit the fan. She yelled at me and said I’m not too big for a thrashing and that’s what I’ll get if she catches me not wearing them again. I thought there was a funny side to it, but she didn’t see it. But I knew I was going to have to start wearing them out in the street cause I can’t see much without them any more, so from now on I’m a Full Time Four Eyes.

OK, that’s nearly five weeks I’ve been a Full Time Four Eyes. I haven’t gone anywhere or done anything without my glasses (I don’t know if I could any more, I can’t see much if I take them off) and I was beginning to think Mum would leave me in peace. NOW she’s started reminding me that it’s nearly a year since I got them and I should get another test. (I don’t tell her, but actually now that I’m wearing them full time I can tell that I need stronger ones, cause things aren’t as clear as they used to be) I think she’s been reading some article about health care for the whole family, cause she says my young brothers have to go as well “to be on the safe side”. Simon and Jude are twins, but not identical.

I’m pretty sure Jude is short-sighted, he’s doing the things I was doing this time last year, like sitting close to the TV, and holding his book right up to his eyes when he reads. Funny Mum hasn’t said anything—she was quick enough to notice me last year. I wonder if I should warn him, or just let him find out when we get tested.

Jude doesn’t need any warning. He came to my room looking kind of worried and said, “Hey Keith, what like happens at this eye test?” I told him all I could remember and he looked really unhappy, almost ready to cry. I said, “What’s up, scared you’ll need specs? I think you will, cause I think you’re short-sighted like me, but it’s no big deal, just wear them, don’t be the kind of idiot I was.” (I had to say that, cause Mum will make him anyway, but it makes sense anyway.) He did start to cry then; apparently he teased Liam when he got his glasses and called him Four Eyes and Double Glazing and things like that—and right after that he found he couldn’t see the board properly any more and thought maybe God was punishing him. I told him I didn’t think so, but to ask Father John when he’s at confession. Anyway, I let him try my glasses on; he looked out the window and said, “Hey, that’s cool, everything’s really clear. How long does it take to get glasses?” So he knows he needs them and he’s not exactly happy about it, but he’s stopped worrying.

So we went for our tests. I’ve got new glasses cause I’m a bit more short-sighted which is no surprise. Jude’s short-sighted too of course, which me and him both knew about. We’ve got ours already, they have a one hour lab now. I thought I’d like frames like Gavin’s, but when I tried them they looked weird on me, and I ended up getting black covered wire ones again, but oval this time. Jude got round wire frames like my old ones, but without the black covering. Simon’s getting glasses too but he isn’t short-sighted, he has this stigma thing like Liam. He tried to explain what they said, something about the shape of his eyes, but I don’t get it. His lenses weren’t in stock so he has to wait till next week. Mum and Dad both got tested too and they’re both getting glasses, bifocals. Dad says he never knew he’s short-sighted, and Mum’s long-sighted. Pretty expensive, but Dad says we have insurance to cover it. So we’re going to be one big happy four eyed family.

Simon had to collect his glasses after school today and came home wearing them. His frames are totally different from mine and Jude’s (but then he doesn’t look much like us either). He’s got clear plastic frames, and the lenses look totally different too, like Liam’s. When I saw him in his glasses my old man sprang to attention and I had to go to my room for a wank.

Simon’s noticed what his glasses do to me. Today he came in after school and sat down where he knew I could see him. Then he took them off and squinted at them, got his hanky, breathed on them and then polished them, squinting at me all the time. He put them back on and leered at me through them, then he pushed them down his nose and looked at me over them, pushed them up on his head and looked at me under them, and finally put them back where he could see through them. All this time I was getting harder and harder, and finally I had to go to my room…

Simon’s been up to his tricks again—PLUS! When he came in today he started his tricks with his spex again; I made myself scarce, and he followed me into my room! “Am I hot in spex then?” he said. I said “Oh fuck off Simon.” “Jerk off is more like it,” he said, and put his hand on my dick. Well, it sprang to attention, more than ever, didn’t it, and before I knew what was happening he’d opened my flies and was playing with it. Well, I’d never had anybody else’s hand in there, only my own, but it felt amazing and I came in next to no time, and then he wanted me to do it to him.

Gavin says his eyes are getting worse, he’s having to squint to read what’s on the board. Somebody told him when your glasses aren’t strong enough tilting them up helps you to see, and he does that sometimes. I saw him in church tilting them to read the hymn numbers. And he’s only had them about six months.

Gavin told me he went for a driving lesson yesterdaty and failed the vision test with his glasses on, so he has to get stronger ones before he can start to drive. He said he knew that would happen and he didn’t want to start driving yet, but his folks insisted. So he’s got to go for another test, and he’s only been wearing glasses 8 months.

Gavin came to school yesterday in his new glasses—dark red frames, he said he thinks they’re cool. But they’re real strong; when he let me try them on they seemed to pull my eyes, and there are white rings round the edges. He says they’re nearly twice as strong as the first pair he had; he’s gone from -1.75 to -3.25. I asked how he knew that and he said there’s a note in the case. I looked in mine and my first ones were -1.50; the ones I have now are -2.25. There are some other numbers too; Gavin says that means I have the stigma thing Simon and Liam have, but maybe not so much. He has it too. He told me they put new lenses in his old glasses too, so that he has a spare pair. He had to leave them while they did the job, and walk around for an hour with no glasses. That’s the first time he’s been out in the street without glasses since he got them, and he isn’t about to try it again; he was kind of shocked how blind he is now, somebody said ”Hi Gavin” and he said Hi back but he had no idea who it was, he couldn’t see.

Gavin had his black frames on today. They look amazing with the new lenses in. It’s funny, I don’t like having to wear glasses, but on the other hand it would be kind of cool to need thick strong ones like Gavin’s. When I was having my bedtime wank I couldn’t stop thinking about how great he looks in them. And what it would be like to have his hands on my old man. I went to sleep still thinking about it and had a wet dream. I was still hard when I woke up so I had to have another wank (they say it makes you go blind; is that why my eyes are getting worse? And what does that say about Gavin?)

I wish I’d gone Full Time Four Eyes right from the start. I can see so much better and I keep seeing how hot the guys around are. I guess I could see girls better too if I wanted to, but I don’t. I just wish I could wear my specs in the showers and get a better view of the other guys’ dicks. I wish I could have somebody jerk me off while I jerk him off. If it could be Gavin; hey, I have to go…

Jude came into my room tonight looking a bit shy; he ummed and erred a bit and then said, “Keith, I’m in love.” I said, “Good for you; who’s the lucky girl?” He blushed scarlet and said, “Uh, it isn’t a girl, it’s Liam. Like we went behind the bike sheds after school and tried each other’s glasses, and he sucked my cock and I sucked his, and it felt so good, I want to do it again and again.” I said, “What are you telling me for? Why don’t you just talk to Simon, he’s your twin.” “Simon?” he said. “No way. Sex is a big joke to him, he doesn’t care about people, it’s just any cock he can get into his mouth. Sure, I play around with him at night, but I wouldn’t talk to him about anything that means so much to me. You’re different.” I took him in my arms and gave him a hug and a kiss, and said, “Well, thanks for trusting me with your secret. I hope it all goes well for you both.”

What Jude said made me think. He says he’s in love with Liam; well I think I’m in love with Gavin, only I’ve never done anything with him like they have and I don’t know if he would want to do anything like that. And all this about sucking cocks—my own brothers!

Gavin was tilting his glasses again during Mass tonight; his eyes seem to be getting worse really fast.

Gavin has got new specs again; the frames are black metal, kind of cool, and the lenses have a line across them. He said they were trying him with bifocals to see if it would stop his eyes getting worse so fast. He let me try them but they’re way too strong for me. He says he went up to –4.75 with a near vision add of +1.5 which means the bottom half is weaker and actually the same as his old specs. I could see not too bad through the bottom half, which he can’t see very far with. I really, really want his hand on my old man.

I really, really can’t believe what happened after school today. I went for a piss before I started home, and Gavin was in there, nobody else. “Hey Keith,’ he said, “How d’you fancy a bit of good clean fun?” “What d’you mean, good clean fun?” I wanted to know. “Uh, well, would you suck my dick?” I was gobsmacked, but I managed to say, “Well, I’ve never done it before, but I’ll try; uh, would you jerk me off?” He did, and I sucked him off, and I feel great. What a dick Gavin has! It’s longer than mine but not too thick, and the hair round it is fair like the hair on his had

I can’t believe how lucky I am. Two or three times a week Gavin and I have our bit of good clean fun after school. We jerk each other off, or maybe I suck his dick (he’s never sucked mine) and once he asked me to bend down and fucked me up the arse. That hurt a lot, but it felt great too. I take my glasses off when I suck him, but he always keeps his on, but then his eyes are worse than mine.

They say accidents will happen; well one just did. Me and Gavin went for our bit of good clean fun after school; he wanted me to suck him off, so I took my glasses off, same as usual, cause they get in the way, and I put them on the floor. I must have given him an extra good time, cause he was moaning and saying, “Oh, this feels so good” but when he came in my mouth he did a little dance and stepped right on my spex. They’re toast, and after a year as a Full Time Four Eyes I’m fucking blind without them, as I found when I struggled home in the blur (I couldn’t catch a bus cause I couldn’t see the numbers). I can hardly believe that two years ago I was sure I didn’t need glasses; now I can’t see shit, and I don’t know what I’m going to tell Mum. As soon as I got home I went to my room to look for my old glasses. I found them and put them and they help a bit, like I can watch TV if I sit a couple of feet from the screen.

Gavin was really sorry about breaking my glasses; he helped me find my way home, and said he’ll back up whatever story I think of. I decided to say we were wrestling, and my glasses fell off and got stepped on. I was watching TV when the twins came in; Simon said, “Hey, how about sitting back a bit? You make a better door than a window.” I said, “Sorry, but my glasses got broken and I these are my old ones, I can’t see much.” Jude said “How did they get broken?” and Simon said, “I expect he was having a bit of the other with Gavin.” I suppose I blushed, cause Simon started to laugh.

Mum and Dad arrived home together, and I thought I’d better face the music, so I went and told them my story. Mum looked a bit mad, but Dad said, “Well, we’ve got three lads with glasses; the other two have had them a year or so, and you’ve had them, what, two years is it?” I call one breakage in that time not bad going.” Mum said, “Just as well it’s nearly time for your next test anyway. Can you manage with that pair?” I wasn’t sure but I said I’d try.

This morning in school I asked to sit in front so as to see the board better, but at break time I heard somebody calling me. I had to squint really hard to see it was Gavin. “Hey Keith,” he said; “are you seeing OK with those specs?” “Not too bad, but not too good either,” I said. “Only I thought maybe my old ones would be better for you,” and he produced the pair with the black frames. I tried them and they’re stronger than I’m used to, but I can see just fine. Gavin explained these were the very first frames he had, but when he got his next glasses he had new lenses put in so as to have a spare; and his second frames are spares now with his bifocal prescription in. Maybe I should’ve done something like that. Anyway he says I can have those ones for keeps.

I’m glad I didn’t have a spare pair of glasses, cause I can see so much better with Gavin’s old ones than I could with my own that got broken. I must have been struggling without noticing. So I guess I’ll need stronger specs again when I go for my test—I told my folks there’s no need to go before time cause I’m seeing so good with these. I think they look OK on me too.

It’s time for our eye tests—me and Simon and Jude—and we’ve got appointments at Shakespeare’s tomorrow. Dad said he wanted a word with me tonight, and it turned out to be about Robin. What he said was something like this. “Keith, I expect you know there are men around who are more interested in other men than they are in girls. They’re called homosexual or queer or gay. No, I just thought you ought to know that my cousin Robin who works at the optician’s where you go is one of those—just in case he tried to interfere with you or one of the twins.” “OK Dad,” I said. “Thanks for telling me, and I’ll watch out.” So I was right about Robin.

When we got to Shakespeare’s this morning it turned out Robin was going to do my test, so I was glad Dad had told me about him. “I’ve qualified since you came last year,” he said, “so I hope you’re happy for me to do your test.” Certainly I was OK. He looked at the glasses I was wearing and said, “I don’t remember fitting you with these.” “No,” I said. “My glasses got broken a few weeks ago, and the guy who broke them lent me his old pair. They’re stronger than the ones that he broke, but I can see just fine with them.” “OK then,” said Robin, and got on with the test. When he’d finished he said, “Well, you seem to have landed on your feet. Those glasses you’ve been wearing are very close to what you need now. Your eyes have got a bit worse, but that’s normal at your age, so here’s your new prescription. Tell me though, how did this guy manage to break your glasses?” After what Dad said about Robin I thought I’d tell him the truth, so I said, “Well, I‘d, like, put them on the floor while I gave him a blow job, and he stepped on them.” “I see,” said Robin. “You like blow jobs, do you?” “Well I’ve never actually had one, only given them.” “We can soon put that right if you drop your pants,” said Robin. And right there in the examination room I had my first blow job. It was great, it felt as if the top of my head flew off when I came! When he’d finished I said, “Shall I give you one now?” “Oh,” said Robin; “I’m like you, I do it more than I have it done to me, but go on. Just don’t put your glasses on the floor; why not keep them on?” I said, “Well, they get in the way.” “It’s no problem to me,” said Robin; “but then I need mine to see close up.” Anyway, I tried keeping them on and it was OK. “Hey,” said Robin, “you’re a pretty good cocksucker.” “Well, so are you,” I said. “Yeah, but then I’ve had plenty of practice. But we’d better get on. Ben will help you choose frames; and if you can hang on to that pair they’ll come in handy as spares. You’re –3 now, and they’re just –3.25 so that’s hardly any difference.”

Ben turned out to be a shortish guy with red hair and glasses with round gold frames. He has a funny accent; apparently he comes from Birmingham. He’s a student at the School of Optometry and works at Shakespeare’s on Saturdays. They like to get the most promising students working there, just as long as they’re homosexual—or queer or gay, Dad said; he told me Robin was like that but from what I can gather everybody in the shop is. Just as well really because I think I’m like that, and maybe the twins too!

Anyway Ben helped me a lot with choosing frames for my new specs. He really worked hard at finding something that looked good on me, and in the end we agreed on oblong brown frames made of carbon fibre. I hope Gavin likes them; I think he will.

Gavin admired my new glasses when he saw them; he thinks they look really great. We’re going to have some good clean fun tonight.

When we got together I said, “Hey Gavin, would you suck my dick? I’ve done it for you lots of times but you’ve never done it for me.” He went very read and said, “No Keith, I can’t. And I’m afraid this has to be the last time I let you do it for me.” “Why?” I said. “Keith, I’ve got a vocation, I’ll be going to seminary when I leave school. Seminarians have to be pure if they’re going to be priests, so that means no more sex with anybody, boys or girls.”

I think I wan t to die, I really loved Gavin and sex with him was so good, I don’t know how I can do without him.

 

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