USING MY FINGERSóTHE STORY OF A WHIRLWIND WEEK

by Izzy Lennon

My name is Faraz Singh. I attend Graduate School at University of MissourióSt. Louis (UMSL) and am also taking classes at Webster University. Iím 23, gay and working my way out of the closet. Iíd like to share my past week with you. What a week it was. So much happened. Iím so glad that my parents bought me the leather bound journal, at the Galleria, last month, when they were visiting. I canít wait to send the journal to them, in India, once itís filled. I must admit, though, that Iím a little nervous about some of what they will learn about me, their only child.

----------

Wednesday 27 October 2004

I woke up in fairly typical Faraz style, meaning that I fell asleep reading AGAIN! I woke up to find my light still on, a book in my hand, and my glasses nowhere near my face. I felt around for them but couldnít find them. I walked over to my top dresser drawer where I keep my spare pair. I put them on and continued the search for my current glasses. I found them on the floor. Thank God I have carpeting. I put my current glasses on, put the spare pair back in the drawer, climbed back into bed, and masturbated before taking a shower and getting ready for class.

Class was somewhat boring today. I probably should have stayed in bed and masturbated all day. Then again, I donít want to go blind. Iím already quite short-sighted.

After my last class, I went to the Central West End, which is St. Louisí closest thing to a gay neighborhood. I stopped at Coffee Cartel. I started a conversation with the guy at the next table. I remembered him from Pride. His name is Gerard and he was waiting for his boyfriend. Heís tall and masculine but not exactly my typeóespecially with the leather vest. I donít usually go for that bear type but somehow he was different. We had a great conversation.

He was excited about the baseball game. It was the fourth game of the World Series and the local team, The Cardinals, was in the series. Not having grown up with baseball, I didnít know much about it. He explained the sport to me and told me the historical significance of this specific game. The other team, The Boston Red Socks, was one game away from winning the championship for the first time in 86 years. He also told me about the curse of Baby Ruth. Even though Gerard is a Missouri native, he has a special place in his heart for Boston. First, because he graduated from Boston University, but most importantly because his late grandfather, saw Baby Ruth play in 1918, when he was a boy.

Gerard made great eye contact and I could tell that he was also looking at my glasses but he was subtle about it. Heís really nice. I wish I could say the same thing for his boyfriend Philip. Gerard introduced me to Philip, who was, not only, rude, but also, much less subtle about the way he looked at my glasses. When Philip left to get a coffee, Gerard apologized for Philipís behavior. I told him that, as a sociology major, I understood it. As luck would have it, Gerard has a minor in sociology, so there was more common ground. We exchanged phone numbers just before Philip returned.

I walked around the neighborhood for about an hour before stopping at one of the gay bars. As the bartender poured my Appletini, my mobile phone rang. The bartender chuckled about my ringer, which plays ďItís Raining Men.Ē I was surprised to hear from Gerard so soon. He invited me to join him and a few of his friends at his apartment to watch the game. He apologized for the last minute invitation and told me that his roommate just called him and suggested it. Of course, I accepted his invitation. I really wanted to see him again. I drank my cocktail and took the Metrolink to Gerardís.

Gerard introduced me to his friends, who were all very nice. Philip arrived with the beer. Again he was rude. When Gerard said, ďYou remember Faraz, donít you?Ē He said ďHow could I forget? Hi FarazĒ but pronounced it Four Eyes.Ē Gerard corrected him about my name. Gerard was visibly upset with Philip, as were his friends. Gerard opened a can of beer for me splashing a couple of drops on the left lens of my glasses. He apologized. I told him that it was OK because he didnít hit the sweet spot. With class, he pulled a handkerchief out, from the pocket of his leather vest, and dabbed the beer off my glasses. Philip gave him a look and stormed into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of bourbon.

Gerardís roommate, Bruce, made room for me on the couch between him and Gerard. The game started. Gerard and Bruce had fun explaining the game to me. We all drank Busch beer while Philip got drunk on his bourbon. By the end of the fifth inning, Philip started acting up. He sat on Gerardís lap and tried to force me to drink some bourbon. Gerard told him to stop and took the bottle away, a few drops splashed on my glasses. Philip reached into Gerardís pocket, pulled out the handkerchief and said, ďLet me clean that Faraz;Ē again he pronounced my name like Four Eyes. Gerard told him to stop. Philip then asked me if he could try on my glasses. When I told him that Iíd rather he didnít, he reached for them and was about to grab them. Gerard grabbed Philipís wrist and told him to let go. He did.

Gerard grabbed Philip, dragged him into the kitchen, and yelled at him before taking him outside and putting him in a cab. Bruce told me that the two had been having problems for months and couldnít understand why Gerard stayed with him so long. When Gerard returned, he announced that he and Philip were through. His friends cheered so loud, passers-by must have thought that the Cardinals hit a home run. That, however, wasnít the case. The Boston Red Sox made history. It was exciting to be a part of it. Gerard insisted that I stay over and offered me his bed while he slept on the couch. Heís a true gentleman.

----------

Thursday 28 October 2004

I slept wonderfully, dreaming about being Gerard all night. I awoke from my dream just as he quietly snuck into the room to select some clothes. I pretended to be sleeping but squinted to see him. As short-sighted as I am, all I could see was a hopeless blur of his naked body. After he had showered and dressed, had came back in the room to tell me that he was called to go into work early. He apologized, and told me that Bruce would drive me home or to school. He then asked me if I would have dinner with him tomorrow night. Of course, I accepted his invitation.

About an hour later, I showered and had coffee with Bruce. He was wearing his glasses and looked really nice in them. When I told him that I didnít know he wore glasses, he told me that he usually wears contacts. He also told me that he wanted to kill Philip last night when he tried to take my glasses. I told him that I really didnít like Philip. It turns out that he didnít either and never understood what Gerard saw in him. He then told me that he liked me and that Gerard REALLY liked me. Bruce asked how I felt about Gerard. My smile, alone, revealed my feelings.

Getting back to Bruceís glasses, they had those very stylish hingeless frames that I wish I could get but canít due to my strong prescription. He told me that I should try to order some from the online company in Hong Kong that he got his from. Bruce paid only $51 for his glasses. His prescription is -3.75. When I told him what mine was, he was surprised, but told me that the company claims to be an expert of high prescriptions. He told me the siteís URL. Iíll check it out soon. I wonder why he didnít ask to try on my glasses.

Bruce dropped me off at school. I had just one class today. After class I came home, turned on the TV, sat on the couch and masturbated while watching all the World Series news. I learned so much about American baseball today and that itís Red Sox, not Socks; and Babe, not Baby Ruth. Gerard will be so proud of me. I canít wait to see him tomorrow.

----------

Friday 29 October 2004

I woke up with a stiff cock and thoughts of Gerard. I think Iím falling in love for the first time in my life. I was really looking forward to our real first date. Gerard called me on my cell phone as I was walking to campus. He asked me if I liked Italian food and told me that he was taking me to a fun place for dinner.

School was OK today but the day dragged on. I guess I was excited about going out with Gerard. It was finally 7PM. Gerard called me from his cell phone to tell me that he was having a hard time finding a parking space. He asked if I could meet him on the sidewalk. I said yes, Truth is, I would meet him anywhere. At any time. I really like him.

We went to his favorite family style restaurant in The Hill. We shared a bottle of Chianti and some wonderful conversation. Again he made wonderful eye while occasionally looking at my glasses. Gerard taught me the proper way to eat toasted raviolióby using my fingers. He even licked my fingers and told me that I was more delicious than the raviolis.

After dinner, we walked through The Hill, and stopped for dessert. The froth of my oversized cappuccino touched my glasses, when I took a sip. Gerard smiled and asked if it got the sweet spot. Before I could answer, he leaned over and licked my lens. I smiled, thanked him, and excused myself to use the toilet. Though I did have to pee, I really needed to clean my smudged glasses. It HAD hit the sweet spot. Gerard still has no idea what the sweet spot is. I think Gerard likes my glasses, which is a nice change from most guys.

Gerard asked me to spend the day with him tomorrow. He wants to pick me up on his motorcycle and show me the foliage before going to his parentsí house for dinner. His whole family will be there and he wants to introduce me to them. How could I turn down such an invite? I canít wait. Tonightís date ended with Gerard asking me for a hug.

----------

Saturday 30 October 2004

Gerard picked me up at 10 a.m. on his Harley. He calls it his hog. Gerard is so funny. Riding behind Gerard with my arms wrapped around his waist was wonderful. I could get used to this position. While Iím on the subject of getting used to things, by the end of the day, I certainly got used to the helmet. When I first tried to put it on, my glasses got in the way. Gerard gently removed my glasses, held them, and told me to try putting on the helmet again. He then gently slipped my glasses back on my face. Every time I had to put my helmet on or take it off, Gerard repeated the process as if he was my own personal eyeglasses valet.

We rode for hours. Most of our time was spent on Great River Road along the Mississippi, but we also explored some of the more hilly areas out west. When we were riding along Highway 365, I had no idea that it would lead to foliage this beautiful. Being with Gerard made it even more incredible. Heís wonderful.

Gerardís parents treated me so well. They are very accepting of their sonís lifestyle. I pray that someday I will be able to introduce Gerard to my parents and that they will be as warm and loving as John and Maria. Gerardís brother, Alton, was also at the house. I got to spend some time with him while Gerard went grocery shopping with his parents. Like his brother, Alton also looked at my glasses in that certain way.

Alton and I hit it off and he really seemed to like me. He told me that the last time Gerard brought a guy to his parentsí house, the guy got drunk and rude, and embarrassed Gerard. When I told him that it sounded like Philip, he laughed, for it was Philip. He then told me about the time he, Gerard, and Philip went to ďTaste of Chicago.Ē Philip was critical about everything and made a five-hour drive seem like an eternity.

I told Alton how Philip tried to grab my glasses. He was so sympathetic and understanding for he knew how challenged Iíd be without them. When I asked him if he wore glasses, he told me no, but his fiancÈe does and canít see a thing without them. I asked if he knew her prescription. He sure did, itís -8 in both eyes for contacts and -9 for her glasses that she only wears once a week, for a few minutes, when she cleans her contacts. He then told me that she never wears her glasses in public and that neither Gerard, nor their parents, know that she wears contacts. He asked me to keep it a secret unless she mentioned it. She was coming to dinner too.

Alton asked me Iíd he could try on my glasses and told me that it was similar to looking through his fiancÈeís but maybe a bit stronger. I told him my prescription. He then opened up, and told me that he wishes she would wear her glasses more often. He told me that he gets so turned on when she wears her glasses to bed. Our conversation was cut short when everyone arrived with the groceries.

Altonís fiancÈe Jeanne arrived shortly thereafter and helped Maria with dinner. Gerard and I walked around the neighborhood he grew up in. He showed me his old grade school and the spot where he had his first kiss by a girl. He also showed me his high school and told me that it was in the locker room that he had his first kiss by a boy. I was hoping that he would kiss me, but I guess heís nervous. Thatís OK, though. This way I know he really likes me for me, and itís not about getting my clothes and glasses off, having sex with me, and leaving me feeling around for my glasses.

When we returned, the aroma of marinara sauce permeated the house. Gerardís mom, Maria, grew up in The Hill, and made her specialtyótoasted ravioli. When she asked me if I knew how to eat them properly, I told her that I did by ďusing my fingers.Ē Dinner was great. Gerard has a great family. I wished that the night would never end. Gerardís parents begged all of us to stay but I had to get back to Saint Louis. I needed to study for a couple of hours for I am spending tomorrow in Chicago. Jeanne had to teach an 8 a.m. Pilates class.

Since Alton and Gerard had no plans for tomorrow, Jeanne offered to drive me back so the brothers could spend more time with their parents. It was the ideal solution, or so it seemed. It turned out that Jeanne wanted some time to talk with me about my glasses. She asked if I would keep a secret. When I told her I would, she told me about her eyesight and how she wore hard contacts. Lately she has been having trouble with her contacts and was told that if she kept wearing them as much as she does that she may risk permanent eye damage.

When I told her that she should wear her glasses, she told me that she was afraid that Alton might leave her if she wore her glasses. I asked if he has ever expressed such feelings about her glasses. She told me that she thinks that her glasses turn Alton on. I then told her that if Alton is anything like Gerard, that the glasses should be a non-issue. All the glasses conversation made the time pass as we drove back to Saint Louis. While we were parked in front of my building, she opened her purse and showed me her glasses. She put them on. They were large and thick. I asked her if I could try them on. Once I had them on, I handed her mine and asked her to put them on her face. They looked much nicer on her since the frame was smaller and the lenses high index.

I told her about the online retailer that Bruce mentioned. Before I got out of the car, I thanked her for the ride and told her that her secret was safe with me. She smiled and told me that I convinced her to start wearing her glasses and told me that when Alton gets home tomorrow that she is going to fill the apartment with candles and greet him in nothing but her glasses.

----------

Sunday 31 October 2004

I woke up thinking about Gerard and his family. They are so wonderful. I thought about Alton and the sexy night he has coming. I also thought about how wonderful it will be when I someday greet Gerard at the door wearing nothing but my glasses.

I then showered and got myself to the airport for my 8 a.m. flight from Lambert. Less than an hour later I landed at OíHare. Amin was there to pick me up. Amin and I have known each other since my university days in Bombay. He got me my plane ticket using his frequent flyer miles. I have missed Amin. It was good to see him after almost two years. Life in America certainly agreed with him. He had a new look that really suited him, but it took a while to get used to seeing him without his glasses.

At first I thought he had gotten contact lenses, but he hadnít. He had Lasik but was not 100% happy with his better than perfect vision. Though he was not as short-sighted as me, he now realizes how strong his glasses were to other people, who asked to try them on, and would tell him he was blind. I handed him my glasses. He used to think they were strong when he needed a correction of -7Rx. Now he really thought they were strong.

Since the Halloween Tea Party wasnít until 12 noon, we went back to Aminís to create my costume to fit the ď2004 Heroes and ZerosĒ theme. Amin works at a theater and had brought home several pieces of clothing, wigs, and props.

Amin dressed up as future first lady, Teresa Heinz Kerry. He wanted me to dress as (soon to be former) first lady Laura Bush. I told him that there was no way Iíd be able to function without my glasses. Being a former myope, he understood. Amin is, and has always been, so incredibly creative. He asked me to strip down to my underwear and he would create a costume from scratch. He lit up when he saw my stars and stripes bikini underwear. He removed the glasses from my face and asked me to trust him.

He walked away. When he returned a few minutes later, he stretched a swim cap on my head and placed his prescription swimming goggles on my eyes. He told me to look in the mirror. Though Aminís goggles didnít provide full correction, I could make out the costume and thought it looked good. Amin then told me that the costume was US Olympic swimmer, Michael Phelps. I liked it. Michael is such a hottie. Amin and I then made 6 gold and 2 bronze medals to complete the costume.

The party was fun. Though Amin and I dressed as heroes of 2004, there were many costumes that had us wonderingóďhero or zero?Ē Martha Stewart in prison garb was funny as was the couple who dressed as Bennifer. Oh God, I had already forgotten about Ben and Jen. The $1,000 best costume prize went to a drag queen dressed up as hometown hero, Oprah Winfrey who was carrying dozens of key rings with car keys, and kept shouting ďand you win a carĒ.

I got many compliments on my costume. One guy in glasses, dressed as direcrtor Michael Moore, even asked if he could try on my goggles. I told him that he could as long as I could try on his glasses. Iím glad I did. His prescription was very similar to mine. For a couple of minutes, I again had full correction. He was cute and we talked for a while. We exchanged e-mail addresses. I told him that I was sort of seeing someone but Iíd like to be friends. Who knows, if things donít work out with Gerard, it might be nice to have a boyfriend as short-sighted as me.

By the time the party ended at 6PM, I had a splitting headache from being under corrected by over 4 diopters. It turns out that Aminís goggles were only -6, an older prescription of his. The eyestrain was incredible too. Back at Aminís apartment, I couldnít wait to put my glasses back on. I didnít, however, do that straight away. Amin, took off his Teresa outfit and sat on the carpet in just his underwear. He asked me to place my head on his lap and close my eyes, and proceeded to give me an eye massage.

The eye massage felt great, as did Aminís now erect penis. He apologized about getting aroused. I told him it felt good and reminded me of when we used to jack each other off at university. Valuing each otherís friendship as we do, we decided to chill things down before they got any hotter. Amin fetched my glasses and placed them on me. I could see again. Before long, we were driving to OíHare for my red eye flight. How ironic.

Today was great. Having Gerard with me would have made it perfect.

----------

Monday 01 November 2004

Except for my two exams, today was a fun filled day. I got together with six of the guys from the Gay Asian Students Group. We went to a dinner party out near the airport. The father of one of the guys in the group is an airline big shot and let his son use his executive suite and chef for our dinner. Dinner was a buffet of typical foods from all over Asia. It was lots of fun to be openly gay with my fellow Asians. Most of us agreed that if we were back home, we would not be able to act the same.

One of the guys, Ryuichi, from Japan, had a digital camera and had an idea for a fun group picture. He had us all of stand in a circle, like the huddle, in North American football. He then put the camera on the floor, set the timer, and told us to all touch heads and look down at the camera. The picture came out funny especially because of all the glare from our glasses. All of us had glasses.

While we were still in the circle, Jamal, from Bangladesh, suggested that we all pass our glasses around and try each otherís on. It was fun and we all laughed. One of the boys from Singapore, Daniel, had the strongest. My prescription is -10.25, and I thought I was really short-sighted. He didnít know his prescription but it was much stronger than mine.

On the way back to the town, I sat next to Cheung, from Hong Kong in the limousine. We traded glasses for a good stretch of Interstate 70. His prescription was weaker than mine but he had lots of cylinder. The highway signs looked cool and distorted. I told Cheung about the online optical retailer in Hong Kong that Bruce got his glasses from. He told me that glasses are so cheap in Hong Kong and that he was familiar with the company and that I should buy from them.

I called Gerard to tell him that I missed him today and was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. I told him about having fun with the guys tonight. I told him about the food and conversation. I didnít tell him about the glasses swapping. I donít want him to think Iím weird.

----------

Tuesday 02 November 2004

Today was election day. Gerard took the day off from work to campaign for John Kerry. He asked me to join him after class. It was fun to be part of the American political process. Gerard and I held ďHelp is on the WayĒ signs.

Gerard parked near Kiener Plaza. After the polls closed, he and I sat in his car. We held hands and talked for a couple of hours. We enjoyed the view of the old courthouse and the Gateway Arch behind it. It all had a golden glow to it.

Gerard then did something he had never done before. Actually he did two things he had never done before. First he asked permission before taking my glasses off my face. He folded them and placed them on the dashboard. My golden glow was now a golden blur. Gerard asked me if I was OK without my glasses. I told him that I never felt more OK in my life. I then closed my eyes for I knew what Gerard was going to do next. We kissed for what seemed like hours. Heís a great kisser.

Before going to bed, I checked my e-mail and was pleasantly surprised to receive the picture from Ryuichi. Our glasses were really glaring. Itís a funny picture. I saved it as my wallpaper.

----------

Wednesday 03 November 2004

I just woke up and turned on the news to learn that Bush is still the president and that Blunt is now the governor. I called Gerard to comfort him. Iíve invited him over tonight for some REAL comforting. I think tonight is THE night. Oh Lord, this has certainly been a whirlwind week.