This story was started by Specs4ever, and - as you will see - other members of the community co-operated pretty fast. The first part was posted 20th October 2000 09:11 (PT), the last one was posted 25th November 2000 10:11 (PT). We had a lot of fun, didn’t we? (Bobby)
Today our correspondent from Germany reports an influx of male visitors to a small town in Germany. It seems that there was a posting on an American internet site that is devoted to glasses and the wearing of them that a young lady was spotted by a regular participant on this site who could no longer wear contact lenses and was now forced to wear myodisc lensed glasses with a very strong prescription. When interviewed one of the male visitors told this correspondent that all he came for was hopefully to meet, and perhaps marry this bespectacled lady. Further updates will be filed.
Flash** According to Reuters, the German Parliament is considering passing a tariff on glasses. It seems customs personnel at a nearby international airport were dismayed to find that so many men entering the country were carrying multiple pair of glasses, and contact lenses. An official at Zeiss was quoted as saying the government is concerned about protecting the domestic optical industry.
Double flash**CNN has reported an upsurge in marriage applications purchased by optic obsessive young German females.
Details at 11
K-Nite Rider News Services:
Flash: Our German correspondent reports that in Germany this weekend there are no hotel rooms available, nor are there any rental cars to be had. It seems that there has been an influx of male tourists, hoping to get a look at a young lady that was reported to be wearing myodisc lensed glasses.
In an exclusive interview, this young lady told our reporter that she is unable to understand what the fuss is all about, but that she now has so many men trying to date her that she will now only accept mailed resumes from any interested suitor. Included with the resume must be a recent picture and an updated verified financial statement. Once the resume's are all in, she anticipates that she will narrow the field to about a hundred suitors, who she will have take her out on a date. Then she will narrow the field to only ten, and she will eventually pick the most interesting one of the final 10
Late Breaking News Flash:
Recent reports of the large number of males trying to date a young german lady that wears very strong eyeglasses has lead to thousands of cancellations in laser eye syrgery here in the US. One Doctor has reported that because of the cancellations, his clinic was in serious financial straits, and was considering a merger with another clinic that specializes in liposuction.
21st Oct. 2000 16:00 CNN.
Doctor Glassin from Ukraine town Specsoff near Kiev announced, that he has had over 100 requests sent by women form various European countries asking him if he could make a special laser surgery to them. All of the women want to have surgery that makes their eyes very myopic, so that they could wear myodiscs lenses. The hospital, which is believed to be owned by Russian mafia "Nashe Dyelo", expects to make a large amount of money.
Quick Flash: 2 Weeks into the future:
CNN News Desk Memo:
Janet: pass these updates on to our anchor
person for inclusion in the next broadcast;
Item 1) The very shortsighted young lady from Germany who has been bowelled under with mail containing marriage proposals has made her choice. It is understood that the winner of her hand in marriage is an American internet technology billionaire, who wishes to remain anonymous for the time being. We at CNN are sure that the size of his bank account had nothing to do with the young ladies choice. One of the tidbits we have gleaned from our sources is that the unnamed billionaire has demanded a marriage contract to ensure that the young lady never has any form of eye surgery.
Item 2) American Optical Lens manufacturer Zolo Lens has today announced the availability of a very thick myodisc lens in prescriptions ranging from minus 4 all the way to minus 30. The minus 4 lens is made with a minus 2 front base, and a minus 2 rear, with a 5 mm center thickness. These lenses should satisfy the requests that have been pouring in in recent weeks. Also in related news from the same manufacturer, it was announced today that the production of contact lenses has been suspended, as sales have declined during the preceding weeks
News flash from the BBC
As part of its ongoing program to remove the stigma of disability, Tony Blair's government has declared next Wednesday Bare-eyed Day, on which all glasses and contact lens wearers will be forbidden to wear optical correction. A government spokesperson said low myopes would be permitted to drive if the weather was good, but moderate and high myopes would be required to use public transport. Anyone known to be more than -4 caught reading at a normal distance will be arrested and their eyeballs checked for contacts.
US President Bill Clinton has announced that America will also enforce a Bare-eyed Day on Wednesday. A presidential spokesman said it would be an occasion for contact wearers to "come clean" about their disability.
Hollywood stars Ethan Hawke and Elijah Wood, who were scheduled to host an awards ceremony on Wednesday, have suddenly cancelled. Spokesman for the two actors said they had decided to spend the evening at home bumping into the furniture.
as aired on US TV Extra:
Super models on runways from Milan to
Bangkok, have added some weight to their waif-like frames, but the frames we are
referring to, are on their faces!
Heavy lenses and frames of every imaginable style, are the latest offering from designers all over the world. Reports from a Paris runway are that two supermodels were seen tipping over from the weight of the new fashion must-have.
This would explain the winter 2000 Vogue, Elle and Playboy cover girls, not to mention the GQ cover guy, all sporting nearly impenetrable, awkwardly thick specs!
One of the new ads says:
… stay cool … follow your instinct … wear glasses … drink Sprite
FLASH FLASH FLASH:
The most popular site on the internet this last few weeks has been a site run by a person known only as ad2412. The site, called "Girls with Thick Minus Glasses" is found on Yahoo's Geocities. The site started out as a collection of girls with glasses, and a large number of galleries were posted showing many pictures of girls that wear glasses. Very few of these pictures actually showed girls with thick glasses. However, since all the attention has been focused recently on one particular girl spotted in a town in Germany, this web site has gradually turned into a place for girls with thick glasses to post their picture, and their personal information. The web site operator has been charging a minimum amount for girls to post their information, and it has been reported that the money is rolling in. From the rapid changes in the postings it is evident that there are many men that are looking for girls wearing strong prescriptions.
Scandal Hits Internet Site:
A web site that has been posting pictures of young ladies with thick glasses that are looking for boyfriends has today been hit with scandal. It seems that a sharp eyed glasses obsessed viewer has noticed that 3 of the ladies who had their picture posted in strong minus specs were all wearing the same glasses. Further investigation has led to the exposure of others who posted their pictures wearing thick glasses over strong plus contact lenses. The owner of the web site has advised everyone that in future he will require a copy of the doctors prescription before he will accept a picture to be posted.
Finally we have a confirmation. The Glasses - Pulizer award, for the best newswriter about eyesight problems and GOC has been awarded to Specs4ever. We were all expecting such a news, as a confirmation for his long activity in this domain.
Thank you Ciprian, and all the other's who voted for me. I, however can not take all the credit. My 2 editors, AJ, and Lenslover have been instrumental in helping my tales reach their epic quality. That is why I don't try to put many of them here in Fantasy, as I am forced to do so without my backup editor's and proofreaders. And, of course, I must thank the readers, as without readers, these tales would languish.