Myopia By Munchhausen's Syndrome
Now that I am an adult, as I look back at my life I am convinced that my mother was crazy and had no business ever having children. I remember as a child sitting in a hospital peering at things that I really couldn't see very clearly through my thick glasses waiting for the doctor to look at me to see why my stomach ached. My mother would give the nurse on duty a list of things that made the nurse suspect acute appendicitis, or some other sort of affliction that caused me to vomit, or to have diarrhea. But then, when I finally saw the doctor, he would end up giving me something to settle down my upset tummy, or to stop my diarrhea. I think that mummy was really disappointed that I was not having an appendicitis attack and needed an immediate opperation.
Before my mother died I spent a lot of time reading and I suspect that mom was suffering from something called Munchausen's Syndrome. Both my younger sister and I seemed to be sickly children. We spent a lot of time at the doctor's office and at the emergency rooms of various hospitals, and while I can't really prove that mom was the cause of our illnesses I can see no reason why Shelly and I were both sick almost all of the time, as we are now very healthy adults. I suspect that this would not have been the case if mom hadn't lost her job and was arrested for theft for the second time when I was 14, and Shelly was 12. We were both placed in the custody of Children's Aid when mom was sent to prison. Since we were older girls, the chance of us being adopted was slim, so we ended up staying in the system until we were both 18.
The surprising thing about being with Children's Aid was that Shelly and I started to put on weight, and gradually we both became fairly attractive young women. I went out into the work force 2 years before Shelly did, and by the time she was finished with her schooling and was able to join me in the workforce we decided to share an apartment together.
I don't remember much of my early childhood. I just remember that I wore glasses from the beginning of my memories. Mom always told me that I had very bad eyes, and needed to wear my glasses all the time, and whenever I took my glasses off I knew she was right, because everything disappeared into a massive blur.
But a few things that happened have made me wonder if I really was blind as a bat from birth as mom had told me. I sort of remember being very young and having to wear glasses strapped tightly to my head, and I wasn't ever allowed to remove them. Whenever I tried to get them off mom would put them right back on. And when Shelly was very young I remember that she also wore my old glasses strapped tightly to her head.
I also remember being out with mom a few times. I would be walking beside the walker that mom was pushing Shelly in, and I remember more than a few times being in a mall where people would come up to us and would look at me and look at Shelly, and they would then talk about how sad it was that we both had such bad eyesight that we had to wear such thick glasses at such a young age. Mom would always tell people that our severe myopia was genetic, and that it came from our father's side of the family. At the time I believed her, but guess what? Shelly and I have the same mother, but different fathers, so how could it possibly be genetic?
I also remember in August just before school went back I would always get new, stronger glasses. At the time I didn't think anything of it, and I remember that sometimes it was a struggle to make my eyes see through the new glasses, but I just thought it was normal, and soon my eyes could see well enough through my new glasses. However, I find it very strange that I can't remember ever going to an eye doctor and having to look through a machine with lenses in it that the doctor moved in front of your eyes until you could see the letters clearly until shortly after I was at the Children's Aid shelter. And something else that was very strange was that as a child Shelly always seemed to need my old glasses to replace hers every time I got new ones. Shelly also never had a new pair of glasses of her own until we were living at the shelter and we both had eye exams.
It is still a possibility that mom was not lying, and that she had not forced Shelly and I to wear glasses that were stronger than we needed. After all, when I was 14 and had my eyes tested for the first time I can remember my prescription was right around -20D, and then the following year when I was 15 I needed an even stronger prescription. I then needed stronger and stronger glasses right up until the time I was 22, and my prescription had reached the -27D it still is now. Also, Shelly has needed stronger and stronger glasses as well, and it looks like she will be right around -30D for the rest of her life, as it also appears that her progression has pretty well stopped.
I probably shouldn't have done as much reading about eyes and eyesight as I have. From what I have read I suspect that if a baby is forced to wear a prescription of -10D, they will become a -10D myope. Of course no one will admit that they have actually tried this with real babies, but instead they have done experiments with chickens. I am not sure how relevant this experiment would be. And then what would happen to the chicken? Would the chicken have to go through the rest of it's life wearing glasses? And if it did how would the chicken communicate to people that it's eyes had gotten worse and it needed stronger glasses? Sounds to me as if there are too many problems with this experiment.
Mom is out of prison now, and I have asked mom if Shelly and I really needed glasses when we were babies. I didn't expect her to tell me the truth, and of course she insisted that we really did both need glasses. When I put her on the spot as to why Shelly always seemed able to wear my old glasses she told me that this was not true, that she always had them put the correct lenses for Shelly in my old glasses frames because we were poor and didn't have enough money to buy us both new glasses. I can't remember that. I just remember taking my old glasses off, and putting on my new glasses. Then that same night Shelly would start wearing my old glasses.
I then tried another tactic. I asked mom if she could give me the name of my eye doctor when I was a young child. Her reply to this was that I must remember how often we moved, and that it was impossible for her to remember any names after 10 or more years. And anyway, after being in prison she said her memory wasn't very good anymore.
So, that didn't work. I still have no definitive proof that Shelly and I are both severely myopic because of our mother forcing us to wear very strong glasses as babies. I have asked Shelly if she remembers going to the eye doctor to have her eyes tested when she was younger, but like me, the first time she remembers an eye exam for sure was when we both had our eyes tested by the Children's Aid.
I hate this wondering. I would really like to have definitive proof. I have read enough to find out that once you start the eyeball elongation that causes you to be highly myopic it is fairly likely that the myopia will continue increasing just because you are always looking at everything close up through strong glasses. So then your eyes, which have the lenses designed for seeing at a distance, are forced to focus on close things through the distance lenses. Oh, don't get me wrong. I don't dislike wearing glasses, and wearing very strong and thick glasses has not stopped either Shelly nor I from finding great boyfriends. But the curiosity is killing me.
I have already told my guy that if we get married and have kids they will likely inherit my bad eyes, and he doesn't seem to be very upset by this possibility. So, now I am in a quandary. Do I do the same thing to my child as I think my mother did to me? Would this give me the definite proof that my mother really did force me into myopia? Or would it just turn me into my mother and make me a Myopia by Munchausen's Syndrome mother?