I now look back over the past 20 years, and I wonder just what Jock and Martha Mc Bride were thinking of when they named their oldest and only son Jamie Lynn Mc Bride. Yes, Jamie is an old Scots name for a boy, and so is Lynn, but the combination of the 2 crossover names in a boy was not a good thing. Sure, if Jamie had been a big strapping muscular man like Jock, it might have been a different story, but Jamie was slim and fine featured like his mother Martha. When Jamie was younger, when his hair was long the only way you could tell that he wasnít a girl was by the black horn rimmed menís glasses that he wore to hold the thick lenses that enabled him to see more than a few inches in front of his nose. The severe myopia had come from Martha Mc Bride, and she had also passed it on to Jamieís younger sister Heather.
Janie and Heather lived 2 doors down from our house, and as children Jamie and I had played together. I was fascinated by his glasses, and wondered what he could possibly see without the thick lenses. One time I asked him, and he gave me his glasses to put on, telling me that what I saw when wearing his glasses was probably very much like what he saw when he wasnít wearing his glasses. I immediately knew why he wore his glasses all the time. He couldnít see anything.
As Jamie and I progressed through grade school Jamieís 2 year younger sister would often tag along with us. I liked Heather, and I didnít mind having her along. And, while Heather wore glasses as well, her lenses were not nearly as strong as Jamieís were.
I donít know when it started. I think it was around 5th or 6th grade when Jamie started to be teased unmercifully about his effeminate manners. And it was true. By this time Jamie had gotten a pair of glasses that were round wire frames, and they could have been either a girls frame, or a boyís frame. His blond hair was worn a little long, and he wore it parted in the middle, just like some of the girls in our class. And he had the same sort of walk that a girl had. It was really strange. When Jamie was being teased I thought he should just slug the guys who were teasing him, but he was really afraid to do or say anything that might cause someone to hit him back. If Jamie had his glasses knocked off, or broken he was helpless.
Jamie and I had often played dress up with some of his motherís clothing when we were younger, and even I noticed that Jamie made a pretty good woman. Of course he never wore any womenís clothing out in public, at least not until our 6th grade play. Jamie got the part of the mother in the play, and he was darned good too. But this didnít endear him any better to the other guys.
I donít know how we managed to get through high school. I was doing fine, as I was prepared to beat the living crap out of anyone who called me a faggot because of my association with Jamie. And I did have to do this once in a while. It really bothered me to have the others denigrate Jamie like this. They didnít know for sure he was a homosexual. Even I didnít know if he was, although his manners were becoming more and more feminine all the time.
After high school ended Jamie went off to university. I stayed in our home town, and I ended up marrying Heather, who by now was wearing contact lenses pretty much all of the time. But, at least I got to see her wearing glasses at home, and in our bedroom. By now Heatherís lenses looked every bit as thick as Jamieís did, and she was just as helpless without correction as he was.
I didnít know this until quite recently, but when Jamie went to the city to attend university, he registered as a woman. For the next 4 years Jamie lived the life of Ms. Jamie Lynn Mc Bride. A few years later when he returned to town for Jockís funeral I noticed that he had what appeared to be a pretty good set of knockers, even though he was dressed as a male for his fatherís funeral. So, of course I wanted to know what was going on. Jamie told me the story of how he had gone through 4 years of university dressed as, and living as a woman. I asked him why he had done this, and Jamie told me that since everyone thought he was a woman, he felt that he should try to see if he could live as one. I donít know what you would have called him. Was he a transvestite because he wore womanís clothing and seemed to all intents and purposes to be a woman? Or was he a transsexual, because he was more like a woman than he was a man?
Anyway, as the story unfolded after university Jamie got a high paying job as a designer of womenís clothing. He was afraid of being found out as a fake, so he did have a breast enlargement. Finally he had something better than falsies to wear. After Jamie had been on the job for a couple of years Jamie also decided that since his life was really that of a woman he really should do something about having a sex change operation. During the conversation Jamie and I had about this he told me he felt that he was doing well as a woman, much better than a man would have done in the same job. He felt that he had been more accepted in life as a woman. However, deep inside Jamie was not a woman. He still had urges to make love to a beautiful woman, and he had never once felt an attraction towards a man. But, living the lie of being a woman in day-to-day life had been hard on Jamie, and he decided that he would seek out a noted woman doctor who specialized in sex change operations.
What Jamie didnít know about this famous woman doctor was that she was a lesbian. She was living in a relationship with a partner, a brilliant female lawyer. When Jamie disrobed in her office the first time the doctor gazed adoringly at Jamieís long dong. I knew from the time I was a kid that Jamie was pretty well endowed for a boy, as his penis put my little member to shame. Anyway, the next thing that happened was that Jamie ended up making love to the doctor, giving her a much greater thrill than her partner had been able to do with the dildo they used. As Jamie explained it to me later, it was kind of like he was a lesbian with a dick. And that night the doctor took Jamie home and he did the doctor and the lawyer together.
Now Jamie had a dilemma. As long as he dressed like, and lived like a woman he was going to get all the pussy that he wanted. The doctor and the lawyer let all their lesbian friends know that Jamie was available, and all the lesbians in the city were beating a path to his door.
"Iím telling you Danny, it was like I was on a freight train. I couldnít stop it if I wanted. Here I was, a guy who wanted to have a woman to make love to, and have a normal relationship, with the possibility of having children, and I couldnít do it. I couldnít give up all the sex I was getting. And some of these lesbian ladies are pretty darned good looking. Makes me wonder how they went off track" Jamie told me.
"Well, look at you my friend. If I hadnít known you for so many years I would swear that you were a lady. Your boob job came out pretty darned good, and the way you are wearing your hair is quite becoming to a lady. And, those thick rimless glasses you are wearing would look right at home on a beautiful womanís face" I replied.
"I know it really is all my fault. I should have stood up to everyone and announced to the world I was a man. But now I am making so much money, and getting so much pussy living as a lesbian with a dick I have to keep up the pretense." Jamie told me.
After that conversation my friend, and brother in law Jamie returned to the city, and to his life as a transsexual transvestite lesbian with the longest dong around. And every time I turn on the television and watch Pat and Pat on Saturday Night Live I think of him, or her.