Secret Desires

by specs4ever

Here is a tale that some might find a bit different from my usual stories. I hope no one is offended, and that you accept it as the fiction it is.

Secret Desires:

Christy glanced out over the walls of her cubicle, and scanned the waiting room. She really wasn’t listening to what her present client was telling her. Every month he had the same old story. It didn’t fool her, but still, every month she went along with him, and granted him his public assistance for another 30 days. One of these days she would grow tired of his pathetic attempts to find employment, and she would reject his claim. But, the paperwork to do that was a monumental task, and if he fought her decision, then she had better have very good reasons, and excellent documentation, or she would be the one in trouble. Since she wanted to keep her job, it was simpler just to flow with the system.

As Christy scanned the waiting faces she didn’t see any of her clients in the waiting room. The system was set up so that every counselor took care of their own clients, and if there were any new clients, they went to the first available

counselor. There was a woman sitting in the waiting area, minding 2 small children, and Christy wasn’t too excited at the prospect of having another client on her roster. Just then the lady looked up and her glasses flashed. Christy could tell that she was wearing glasses with a strong prescription. Christy quickly wrapped up her interview with her client and hustled him out the door. She walked over to the counselor sign-in sheet, and saw that she had no clients waiting. So she picked up the new client sign-in sheet, and called for Ann Martin. She felt a flutter when the lady with the strong glasses stood up, took the hands of her 2 children, and walked over to meet her.

“Myodiscs,” Christy thought. “She is wearing myodiscs. This is something. I have never had a client with glasses stronger than my own.”

Christy pushed her own strong glasses closer to her eyes so she could see better, and introduced herself. She then led Ann, Dylan, and Lisa into her cubicle. She sat them down and handed Ann the first of many forms that had to be filled out for new clients. She watched as Ann placed the form on the desk in front of her, and proceeded to put her head down to within around 7 to 8 inches of the paperwork. For some reason, this excited Christy. She watched Ann, as she started to fill out the forms, and after a few minutes, Ann looked up at Christy, squinting her eyes behind her myodisc lenses.

“I apologize for having to get my eyes so close to the paperwork to see it, but I have really poor eyesight, and I have needed new glasses for quite some time now, but I just can’t afford them,” she said.

“Oh, no need to apologize, Ann. My eyes are much like yours, but at least I can afford new glasses when I need them. We will have to see if we can get you an allocation for an eye exam, and new glasses before we see about any form of extended training. How bad are your eyes?” Christy asked.

“These glasses are around –17D for each eye, but I am sure that I need a lot stronger prescription,” Ann told her.

“Let’s trade glasses for a minute,” Christy said, “I am around –18D, and maybe you can see better with mine. But, I am surprised that you have the little circles in your glasses, and I don’t.”

They traded glasses, and sure enough Ann could see a bit better with Christy’s glasses, which were about 20 mm thick. Even though Christy couldn’t see as well with Ann’s glasses, Christy was a bit reluctant to trade back. She was excited to be looking through the myodisc lenses. She had heard that very high myopes often are prescribed the myodisc lenses and she had wondered for some time when she would have them prescribed for her, and what it would be like to wear them.

But, they did trade back, and Ann continued filling out the paperwork. Christy thought about Ann’s myodiscs, and how, if anyone knew about her secret desires, they would think that she was completely crazy. No one in their right mind would want to wear glasses, much less extremely strong glasses. But Christy did. Back when Christy was 8 years old, and her older sister, Lynn was 11, Lynn had trouble seeing the blackboard in school, so she had been prescribed glasses. When Christy tried on Lynn’s glasses, Christy knew that she wanted to wear glasses. Christy even remembered what Lynn’s first prescription was. It was –2.00D and –1.75D. Lynn hardly ever wore her first glasses, except in school, and for watching television. In what seemed like an eternity to Christy, but was actually only 8 or 9 months, Lynn had to have her prescription increased to –4.00D and –3.75D. The doctor told Lynn that she should wear her glasses all the time now, so Mom had gotten Lynn 2 pairs of glasses at one of those two pairs for the same price deals, and now Lynn had a spare pair of glasses.

When Lynn came home with her new glasses, Christy asked Lynn if she could have her old glasses, as they really helped her see things in the distance. Lynn gave Christy her old glasses, and Christy began wearing them all the time. When her mom asked her why she was wearing Lynn’s old glasses, Christy told her that they helped her see better. Her mom muttered something about not being able to afford glasses for two kids, and Christy just said that she could see OK with Lynn’s glasses. After she had worn Lynn’s old glasses for a few months, Christy found that things were very blurred when she took off the glasses. So, she told Lynn that she couldn’t see very well out of her old glasses any more, and she asked Lynn if she could have the new pair that Lynn wasn’t wearing. Lynn took her other new pair to wear herself, and she gave Christy her old pair. Now the sisters were wearing glasses with the same prescription.

This went on for a while, and Christy was pleased to find that she couldn’t see a thing if she took her glasses off. Christy read books about helping to strengthen your eyesight, and she did the opposite to what the books told her to do. She read book after book in very poor light, holding the books as close to her glasses as possible. The experts said to glance away from your close work from time to time, to allow your eyes to focus on distant objects. So Christy buried her nose in her books for hours at a time. Before too long, she couldn’t even see the teachers writing on the blackboard at school with Lynn’s glasses. The teacher sent a note home stating that Christy should have her eyes examined, as she could not pass the school eye test wearing her glasses. Christy wore Lynn’s glasses into the doctor’s office. The doctor didn’t realize that these were the same glasses he had prescribed for her sister, and was surprised to find that there was no chart for Christy, but Christy told the doctor that she had been wearing her sister’s glasses because they helped her see. The doctor didn’t seem happy, maybe because he felt that he had been cheated out of some of his examination fees, but he placed Christy in front of the refractor, and he began placing lenses in front of Christy’s eyes. Christy could see the letters becoming clearer and clearer, and she could tell that the lenses were becoming stronger and stronger. Finally, the letters became perfectly clear, so Christy forced herself to make the letters blurry, and she pulled her head slightly back from the machine, and the doctor increased the power of the lenses in the machine even more. Christy told the doctor that the letters were now clear, and he moved lenses around in front of her eyes, switching them, and asking her what was better. Finally he seemed satisfied. The doctor wrote down some numbers on a piece of paper, and he walked Christy back out to where her mom waited. The doctor told her mom that Christy was extremely nearsighted, and he gave her mom the paper that he had written on.

“The new prescription is almost twice as strong as the glasses your daughter is now wearing,” the doctor said. “I would like to see her in about 6 months to see if this prescription is still right for her.”

Christy remembered going with her mom to the one-hour optical shop to get her own new glasses. The optician told Christy that this was a very strong prescription, and that she should get the new thinner lenses, but when Christy’s mom heard the difference in price over the regular kind of lenses, she didn’t want to spend that much money, so Christy got regular plastic lenses. Christy and her Mom went for lunch while they waited for the new glasses, and when they went back and the optician handed Christy her own new glasses, Christy felt a bit disappointed that the lenses were not as thick as everyone had told her that they would be.

“They aren’t very thick,” Christy said as she looked at herself in the mirror.

“From what you were telling me I expected them to be much thicker, but I think they look good on me.”

“Well, for a –7.75D and a –7.50D prescription they did come out very nice,” said the optician.

Christy and her mom went home, and all the while in the car Christy was thinking how great everything looked. Things were a lot clearer and everything seemed so sharp, although everything did seem to be a little smaller. And, if she pushed the glasses right tight to the bridge of her nose, things were not quite as clear, but everything was really clear when she wore them right where they felt the most comfortable. Christy remembered her sister Lynn, trying on her glasses when they arrived home, and she remembered Lynn commenting on how much stronger Christy’s new glasses were than her own.

Christy went back to the optometrist’s in 6 months, but as hard as she tried, she couldn’t seem to make the doctor give her stronger lenses. So, she had to settle for wearing those glasses for the next couple of years. But it wasn’t that bad. She wore the strongest glasses of anyone in her class, and the teacher let her sit right up in the front, so she could see the blackboard better. She still held her books very close to her glasses, and she still read for hours and hours on end, without looking away from what she was doing. But, other than now having to push her glasses right tight to her nose to see things clearly in the distance, there didn’t seem to be any need for new glasses.

Finally, when Christy turned 13 and puberty started to set in; there came the need for a fairly large increase in the prescription of her glasses. Christy remembered the fight she had with the optician, when she told her that she wanted regular plastic lenses in her new glasses. The optician told Christy that they didn’t do a –10.00D prescription in regular plastic. So, Christy told her that she would go somewhere that would do what she wanted, and finally the lab manager came out, and he agreed to do the lenses like she wanted, as long as she paid for the lenses first, and agreed that she wouldn’t be able to get her money back if she wasn’t satisfied. When she picked up her new glasses, Christy was thrilled with the thickness, and she really liked the reflections off the flat front of her new lenses.

“I’m finished with these forms Miss,” Ann broke into Christy’s thoughts.

“Fine, I will look them over, and then we will see if we can get you an allocation for a vision exam and some new glasses,” Christy said.

Ann replied, “Maybe, could we get one for the kids too? Lisa doesn’t seem to be able to see very much of anything. She is just like me when I was her age.”

“Ok, I’ll try for the family plan, and see if we can fit Dylan in as well. I don’t see a phone number here. Do you have a phone where we can reach you, Ann?” Christy asked.

“No, we don’t have a phone. Maybe, the best thing is for me to call you in a day or two.”

Christy told Ann that it would likely be a week before all the paperwork went through the system, and that she could call her at home in the evening. It was something that the counselors were not supposed to do, but Christy gave Ann her home phone number. Christy showed Ann and the children out, and Christy had another client waiting, so she left Ann’s file in the top drawer of her desk for the time being.

The day was finally over, and there were no more clients to see. Christy grabbed a cup of coffee from the last fresh pot of the day, and she went back to her office to examine Ann’s file at her leisure. She knew that she really should pass on this client, because she was strongly attracted to Ann. Christy had never felt attracted to another woman in her life, but this time she felt extremely attracted. Could it be just the glasses?

“Abusive husband now deceased as a result of a car accident. Three children, one deceased. Age 28, married at 22. Dylan is the oldest at 5 and Lisa is 3. The child who died was killed in the accident with her former husband. Graduated university with a degree in English. Planned to be a teacher.”

After reading all this, Christy filled out the necessary forms to requisition vision exams for Ann, and the two children. Under the heading titled, reasons, she included the statement that the client was university educated, and could be qualified as a teacher if she could have her vision corrected satisfactorily. Then Christy passed the forms on to her supervisor, and drove home. That evening Christy couldn’t get Ann out of her mind. After supper Christy placed her infant daughter, Amber, in her car seat, and Christy drove to the address that Ann had given on her forms. Christy didn’t stop the car, but she did cruise slowly down the block of older row houses, and she glanced at number 751 to see if she could spot Ann, or the 2 kids. But, there was no evidence of anyone outside, so Christy returned home. Amber had fallen asleep in her car seat, so Christy hoped that she could manage to get her into bed without waking her. She knew from past experience that Amber hated it when Christy took off her glasses to put her in her crib. Amber cried the minute Christy removed the head strap that held the strong glasses in place on Amber’s face. But Christy was very pleased that her infant daughter had adapted to wearing very strong glasses. When Christy had found the head strap that now held Amber’s glasses in place at a yard sale, shortly after Amber was born, an idea had entered Christy’s mind. She had read that an infant is born very nearsighted, and as the baby grows the child’s eyes then become slightly farsighted. Christy thought that if she used the head strap to place a strong pair of minus lensed glasses in front of Amber’s eyes she might be able to induce a significant amount of permanent myopia in her infant daughter. So, she had used her computer to make up a prescription blank from the pediatric ophthalmology department of a hospital in a nearby state, and had filled the prescription out to give Amber –12D lenses for her glasses. At first Amber had not seemed to care if the glasses were in place or not, but after a couple of months, Christy noticed that Amber fussed a lot when she took the glasses off her. By the time Amber was 6 months old, she would begin to cry when Christy took the glasses off of her, and wouldn’t stop crying until the glasses were back in place. So, Christy took Amber to her own doctor, who referred them to a local pediatric ophthalmologist.

Christy was worried that the doctor might discover that Amber had been wearing very strong glasses since she was 3 weeks old, but all the doctor told her after he had finished a thorough refraction was that Amber seemed to have been born with congenital myopia, and was an extremely nearsighted baby. Her prescription now was around –16D, but the doctor wanted to give her a prescription that was –2D less, as he felt that it really wasn’t necessary to fully correct a six-month old child, and his logic was that the full correction might lead to a stronger prescription in the very near future. Christy agreed with the doctors suggestion, and was about to leave, but then asked the doctor if he would mind writing down Amber’s actual prescription for her future reference. Christy could hardly control her excitement when the doctor grabbed a fresh blank prescription sheet and wrote Ambers full correction on the new prescription. Christy didn’t think that the doctor actually meant to sign the prescription sheet, but he absentmindedly scrawled his name across the bottom of the form just before he ripped it off the pad. Of course Christy had gotten the stronger prescription filled, and those were the lenses that Amber was now wearing in her glasses. The glasses that Amber wore were only a couple of diopters less than Christy’s own glasses, so Christy knew how Amber felt when her glasses were taken from her for the night. After Amber was put in her crib, Christy reflected on how fortunate it had been that Amber’s father had not known that Christy was pregnant when they split up. Christy thought that Dave had really loved her, but one evening she had overheard him telling one of his friends that one of the first things he was going to do when they were married was to arrange for eye surgery for Christy so that she wouldn’t have to wear those ugly thick glasses that she wore all of the time and he hated.

He said that Christy would be extremely pretty, if it weren’t for her glasses. Christy was devastated. She really wasn’t sure that it had been her efforts to weaken her eyes that had been successful in allowing her to wear thick glasses, or if it would have occurred anyway. No matter what, she was pleased that her eyesight had become as bad as it was. She loved her appearance wearing glasses, and she loved wearing them. So, she created a situation that lead to a very heated argument, and then told Dave that she didn’t want him in her life anymore. She almost reconsidered when she found out about her pregnancy a month and a half later, but felt that it would be a happier situation if she never let Dave know that he was about to become a father. It helped when her pregnancy went a couple of weeks over term, as she figured that she could tell him that Amber was a month early, and he would never connect the dates. She even filled out the forms for Amber’s birth certificate, stating that the father was unknown.

The following week seemed to drag on forever. Finally Ann’s forms that Christy had been waiting for arrived in her in-box. That evening Christy again put Amber in her car seat and drove over to Ann’s apartment. As she walked up the steps, she could hear an angry male voice from the hall, telling someone that he didn’t care about her hard luck, he just wanted the rent money, and since this was not the first time the rent had been late, he also wanted her out of there. Christy was afraid that the man might be talking to Ann, and her suspicions were confirmed when she reached the top of the stairs. The man turned away from Ann, and headed for the stairs, brushing Christy and Amber aside as he went down. Christy could see Ann struggling to see who was coming toward her, and finally Christy came close enough so that Ann could recognize her.

“Hi Ann, I seem to have come at a bad time, but I dropped by to tell you that you have been approved for assistance, and that all three of you have been approved for eye exams, and new glasses if necessary.” Christy said.

“Oh Miss Nailor, your news couldn’t have come at a better time. The super just told me to pay up, and get out of here.”

“I told you that it was fine to call me Christy, Ann.”

“Oh Christy, I am so happy to hear that my application for assistance was approved. But, I don’t know what I am going to do now, because the landlord told me he was going to lock me out tomorrow,” Ann said tearfully.

“I don’t think he can legally do that Ann. But, show me what you have to move, and maybe I can get some friends to come over and clear out this place for you,” said Christy.

So, Ann showed Christy the meager belongings she and the children had. Christy called a friend of hers, and he came by with a truck. They loaded Ann’s furniture into the truck, and took the furniture to a storage locker. Christy had already told Ann that she and the children would be able to stay with her and Amber for a few days.

“That is,” said Christy, “ if you don’t mind sharing a king sized bed with me, Ann. I promise to stay on my own side. Dylan can have the spare bedroom, and Lisa can sleep in the bed in Amber’s room.”

“That would be wonderful Christy,” Ann said. “As soon as I get back on my feet, I will get an apartment, but right now my credit is shot, and I would never be able to get accepted as a tenant anywhere.”

Things went smoothly for the next couple of days. Christy no longer had to rush to get Amber to the sitter in the morning, as Ann looked after Amber. When Christy came home on the third day, she told Ann that she had gotten appointments for eye examinations for Ann and the two children the following morning. Christy had also booked an appointment for herself, and was going to take the morning off.

“Well, Christy, you need another diopter of correction for each eye. I was hoping that your vision would finally have stabilized, but it just seems to get worse every year, which sometimes happens,” remarked Doctor Shandy after he had finished Christy’s exam.

Christy took the prescription slip that the doctor had handed her, and read what he had written. O.D. –19.25D, –0.75 x 165; O.S. –19.00D, –1.00 x 150 was her new prescription. She went out into the waiting room. Ann, and her children had seen the other doctor, and they weren’t finished yet, so Christy went back to reading the magazine she had started, after Ann and the children had gone in for their exams.

Soon the door opened, and Ann came out with Dylan and Lisa.

“Well, what’s the news?” Christy asked.

“Lisa needs glasses very badly. Her eyes are worse than mine are. The Dr says that she is essentially blind and needs almost –24D for each eye. Dylan isn’t too bad. He only needs a –4D correction for each eye. Mine has gone up quite a bit as well, but it has been almost 4 years, and 2 pregnancies since my last new pair of glasses, so I am not too surprised,” Ann said.

“What is your prescription?” Christy asked.

“Let me find the paper. Oh, here it is, O.D. –20.00D, –1.00 x 175, and O.S. –19.75D, –1.50 x 145,” Ann read.

Christy thought quickly, and realized that Ann had only a little bit stronger prescription than she had. She decided that she would not get her new prescription filled until after Ann had gotten her new glasses.

They went to the optician’s, and Ann and the children were fitted for new frames and lenses. Because their prescriptions were so strong, the new glasses were going to take some time to come in. Ann’s glasses would again be myodics. Dylan had his glasses before they left the store, and he was so very happy that he could see much better with them that he had no problem wearing them.

The next couple of weeks seemed to drag for Christy. Ann had only been able to order one pair of glasses, and the public assistance office would only pay for the cheapest frames, and regular plastic lenses. So, Christy had convinced Ann that she would lend her the money to pay for a pair of decent glasses, with good frames, and high index lenses. Christy figured that she would be able to try out Ann’s other glasses if Ann had the second pair.

Finally the optician called, and Christy drove Ann and Lisa over to be fitted with their new glasses. When the optician finished with Lisa, the change that came over her was amazing. She had been a very silent withdrawn child, but with her new glasses on, she was running around looking at everything. Ann was so pleased for Lisa and loved her own new glasses with the high index lenses, and she was also very pleased with the better visual acuity that they gave her. She barely even looked at the thick myodisc lensed glasses that the government had paid for. But Christy looked, and she loved the appearance of the thick lenses, with the big circles and flat front. She knew that she had to get her hands on those glasses to wear to work the following day.

The next morning Christy removed the screw holding the right lens in the frame of her glasses, and walked into the kitchen, where Ann was feeding Amber.

“Oh darn it Ann. Look what happened to my glasses. Help me find the screw.”

Ann helped Christy search, but since Christy had put the screw safely away in her room, of course they didn’t find it.

“What am I going to do Ann? I can’t afford to miss any more work and I can’t see anything without glasses,” Christy said.

“Don’t you have a spare pair of glasses?” Ann queried.

“Just my old prescription and my prescription sunglasses, but it is too dark in the office to wear them and I can’t see that well with my old prescription,” Christy replied.

“How about my old glasses? Could you wear them?” asked Ann.

“No, they seemed too weak for me. But, maybe I could use your other new pair,” Christy responded.

So, Ann got Christy her new myodiscs that the public assistance paid for, and Christy put them on.

“Oh, these will do fine Ann, I can see really well with them. They are maybe a bit strong, but they are quite a bit better than my old ones were,” Christy said.

“But they are so thick, and ugly looking, Christy. I can’t let you wear them.

Wear my good glasses with the high index lenses instead.” Ann told Christy.

“But, Ann you have an interview this morning for that teaching job. Had you forgotten? You should wear your best looking glasses.”

“Oh, You are right. I guess you will have to wear those thick glasses Christy. It is really important that I get this job,” Ann replied.

So Christy went off to work, wearing Ann’s public assistance, myodisc glasses. The mottled brown plastic color of the frame looked great with Christy’s coloring, and her brunette hair. If the lens size of the frame had been a bit smaller, or if the myodisc had had a smaller bowl, the glasses would have been just right, but it didn’t matter to Christy. She loved the stares that she received from everyone. And, by the end of the day, her eyes had adapted nicely to Ann’s prescription, so Christy knew that she was going to wear these glasses for the next few days.

After work, Christy went back to the optician where Ann had ordered her glasses. As Christy had surmised, the optician on duty didn’t even blink an eye when she gave Ann’s name, and ordered another new pair of glasses. This time, she ordered a pair very similar to the good pair that Ann had gotten. Just so the optician wouldn’t reach Ann on the phone at Christy’s apartment, Christy gave her number at work.

Christy wore Ann’s myodiscs for the next couple of weeks, and by the time her own new hi index glasses were ready, she had adapted completely to Ann’s prescription. When she came home with her own new glasses, she handed Ann back the myodiscs, and suggested that they be kept where either one of them could get to them in an emergency. Ann agreed.

Every night when Ann climbed onto the other side of the bed, it was all that Christy could do to not roll over and hug and hold her tightly. Christy had become very attached to Ann and had never felt this way about another woman before. She had always been attracted to men, and she thought that this attraction she had for Ann was terribly wrong. And, even if she gave in to her desires, Ann might not respond favorably and reciprocate, and Christy would likely loose her as a friend. If Anne was lying in bed when Christy came to bed, she would look over at Ann, lying with her head facing Christy, and Christy knew that Ann couldn’t see a thing, as her glasses were placed carefully on the night table. Christy would watch Ann’s eyes flutter open, blind and unfocused, knowing that her own eyes would be the same way once she removed her glasses.

One night Christy woke in the middle of the night. Ann was lying right next to her, and Ann’s arm was touching her. A shiver ran down Christy’s spine. Did she dare make a move toward Ann? She really had a special feeling for Ann. She felt for Ann’s face, and lightly caressed her cheeks. Ann stirred, and Christy began to draw back, but Ann’s arms reached out for her, and drew her into them. Ann pulled Christy’s face very close to hers, and the two of them touched their lips together and began to kiss, and hug, and hold each other very close. Christy was so excited, and she felt so good being close and intimate with Ann. They both had many things in common. Neither one of them could see past their noses without their glasses. They both were very intelligent, and it had been a long time since either one of them had had sex. They could barely see each other without their glasses, but they could feel each other, and they both enjoyed feeling each other in special ways.

“I love you, Christy,” Ann whispered. “You have been so good to me and the children.”

“I love you too Ann. I have been attracted to you ever since the first day I saw you,” Christy told her.

“I know. I think I could tell by the way you looked at me. I have never felt this way about another woman before, but I have wanted you for a long time now. I just didn’t know how you would react,” Ann replied, as they kissed again.

So, Ann and Christy, and the three children became a very myopic family with two moms. Lisa was also very happy to have a younger sister that wore very strong glasses like she did. Amber’s vision continued to need stronger and stronger glasses, and her glasses now were as strong as Lisa’s. Lisa had a couple of diopter increases in her prescription, and the two of them are around –26D and their glasses are quite thick. The Dr said that when they get a bit older and need larger glasses, they would have to have myodisc lenses. Neither of them likes to take their glasses off, as they are both completely blind without them. Dylan has adapted well to his –4D glasses, and has not, so far, needed an increase in his prescription. Ann accidentally picked up Christy’s glasses one day, and found that she could see perfectly with them. She wondered if the prescription in Christy’s glasses was exactly the same as her own. So, she quizzed Christy about this, and Christy told her the truth. So, Ann then said that if either of them needs to have any further increases in the strength of their glasses, they should both get new glasses with identical prescriptions.

Specs4ever, with editing by Aliena

May 2003