The Dial A Script Machine

By Specs4ever

I sat there, shaking my head, wondering how these 2 men had gotten my name as a potential investor. I mean, anyone who knows me wouldn’t even think of asking me to invest in a machine that would revolutionize the lasik surgery industry. But, I suppose I owed it to myself to listen to these men describe to me the workings of their sine wave synergy machine. After all, if it worked, I might be able to make some money on this thing.

They described how their machine worked. I was listening, but only half-heartedly. As the one chap droned on, something that he had said clicked in my mind.

“So let me see if I have this correct. You enter a prescription of 0.00D into the machine, and the machine will bring a persons eyesight back to that prescription, no matter if the person has a plus prescription, or a minus prescription.” I said.

“Yes, that is correct. The only restriction is that the machine can only do a maximum of 10D per person in a year. If a person is + or – 15D, it would take this person back to + or –5D in the first sitting, and then one year later it would bring them back to requiring no prescription.” Fred, the inventor that had been doing most of the talking so far said.

“Now this machine sort of looks like a giant phoropter, with all the different lens adjustments and so forth. Say a person with no prescription wanted to become a –10D myope. Would this machine be able to do that?” I asked, my brain racing a mile a minute.

Fred looked at Lennie, with a of dumbfounded expression on his face and asked. “What do you think Lennie, will the machine do that?”

“Sure it will Fred. The only restriction is a maximum of 10D per year. This machine will work to do whatever you want with a person’s eyesight.” Lennie replied.

Wow, I thought to myself. The potential was unlimited. Before these dudes came into my office I had been reading a story in one of the movie tabloids concerning the breakup of Bradley Pittston and Janice Arsenault. It seemed that once Janice had her lasik surgery and no longer wore glasses Bradley had lost all interest in her. In this article Bradley had stated that if he were to ever marry again, his future wife would have to wear glasses, the stronger the better, and would have to sign a contract stating that she would never have any sort of corrective surgery preformed on her eyes. What if I could give Janice a new prescription of –10D? Would Bradley go back to her?

“Will this machine work on someone who has had laser surgery, or PRK?” I asked.

“No, once a person has altered their natural visual state we can’t do anything with this machine. It would be far too dangerous.” Lennie said.

This would kill the Lasik business. It appeared to be the simplest concept imaginable. Sit down behind the sine wave synergy machine; dial up whatever script you want up to a 10D maximum, and away you go. Once all the teenyboppers finished reading about Bradley Pittston wanting a girl with strong glasses to be his next wife they would be standing in line to buy a –10D prescription.

“Gentleman, if this machine works the way you say it does, I will be your first, and biggest investor.” I said.

“Sir, this machine works. We will prove it to you. Find us someone who wears glasses, and we will eliminate his or her need for glasses, providing they are under 10D.” Fred said.

I picked up the phone and dialed a number. One of my closest friends, and another closet specsaholic had a gorgeous secretary who wore +8D glasses, and was scheduled for Lasik within the next couple of weeks.

“Joe, Dave here. Has Penny had her eye surgery yet?” I asked.

“No, I have her all to myself to gaze at her lovely eyes, magnified behind those gorgeous +8D glasses for 2 more weeks. For the rest of this week, and until her surgery the following Friday she has to wear her glasses, and I am in heaven. Why?” Joe asked.

“Well, bring her over to my office right now. She can have her eyes corrected without surgery, and if this machine I am looking at works, bring your checkbook along as well.” I said.

“Right now?” Joe asked.

“Immediately. This is really important. Drop everything and come within the next 10 minutes, or you will regret it for the rest of your life.” I responded.

“Now I am curious. We will be there in under 10.” Joe replied.

“About 9 minutes later Joe and Penny came rushing through my door. I looked at Penny, her big beautiful eyes shining behind the thick plus lenses of her glasses. I am a minus man, and Joe is a plus man, but even I could see how fabulous Penny looked.

“Joe says that you are going to fix my eyes without surgery?” Penny asked.

“You go into the board room with Lennie and Fred, and they will hook you up to a machine that will give you perfect sight in a few minutes. Joe and I will be along momentarily.” I replied.

The 3 of them went into the other room. I could see he was anxious to find out what was going on, but I shushed him until Lennie and Fred were out of earshot.

“These 2 characters have invented a machine that will add or take up to 10D of prescription from a person’s eyes just by sitting behind the machine. If this thing works, we could all make a zillion bucks.” I said.

I could see the amazement in Joe’s eyes as I dragged him into the boardroom. Penny was sitting behind the machine, and Lennie was clicking a number of lenses.

“Plus 8.25D in the right eye Fred. Plus 8.00D is what the left eye shows. That means right on 4 minutes for the left, and just a few seconds more for the right. Lets get started.” Lennie said.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, Penny exclaimed! My Lasik surgeon was going to make me a little myopic so that I could read without glasses. Can you do that too?” Penny asked.

“We could make you –1.75D in both eyes, if that is what you want Penny.” Fred replied.

“Oh yes, I have been farsighted for so long I would love to be able to see up close without glasses. I don’t mind wearing glasses for driving, and watching TV, or going to a show.” Penny replied

Lennie clicked a few more lenses, and said. “ Ok, this will take about 5 minutes now. We needed another minute for the –1.75D.”

The machine hummed noisily for the next 5 minutes. Joe and I waited in anticipation. Lennie shut the machine down, and asked Penny to read a line on an eye chart.

“Perfect.” Lennie said. You are now a –1.75D myope.

Penny came out from behind the machine, looked around the room and said. “ Yes, things are a little blurry, but I can live with that.

“Read this Penny.” Fred said as he handed her a magazine.

“Oh my gosh, I can read this perfectly without glasses. This is so amazing.” Penny said.

Penny was one of the few people who knew about Joe and my hobby, so it didn’t bother me to go back to my office and bring out a pair of ladies glasses. I handed them to Penny, who put them on.

“How close are they Dave? They look to be pretty close, as I can see very well.” Penny said.

“They are –2D Penny. You might have to pull them away from your eyes a little bit, but they should do until you get a pair of your own.” I replied.

“Was Joe right Dave? Is this for free?” Penny asked.

“What about it Fred, Lennie? Is there any charge?” I asked.

They both shook their head. Joe sent Penny back to his office, and he and I stayed to talk to Fred and Lennie. They knew how much money they needed, and they knew that they had a worthwhile invention. So in the end Joe, Fred, Lennie and I became 4 way partners in what I wanted to call the Dial a Prescription machine. This machine was amazing. It sent out sine wave synergy to the cillary muscles. If an eye was farsighted like Penny’s were, the machine tightened the muscles, which forced the eyeball to become longer. If a person wanted to become farsighted, the machine relaxed the muscles, which forced the length of the eyeball to become shorter. If a person was nearsighted, the machine relaxed the muscles, and the eye shortened up, same as what happened if a person wanted to be farsighted. If a person wanted to become very nearsighted, the machine tightened the muscles, and made the eye longer. I sort of understood, and since Joe was a doctor he understood the concept completely.

Fred and Lennie went off to build a few more machines. Because the machines did nothing except send out energy, the beauty of it was that they could not be regulated. We didn’t have to have any testing done. We could put them into use immediately. I was responsible for the advertising, so I placed a few ads in some of the major publications. We wanted repeat customers, so we decided that we would price this under $1,000.00 per eye up to + or – 10D. And since we felt that we would attract a number of people who wanted more plus, or minus than they were given by a higher power, we targeted some internet sites devoted to eyeglass fetishes.

It didn’t take long before all 4 of our machines were booked solid. We had people manning them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Fred and Lennie were also working non-stop building the machines. Joe and I were setting up our own optical stores as fast as we could. Our concept was going to be that we could do any prescription in under an hour, as we had been finding that a lot of people wanted to be high myopes. There were also a fair number of plus people who wanted more plus as well. Just as we thought we were getting caught up Bradley Pittston announced his engagement to a comely young lady who wore glasses that had a prescription of around –7D. This brought in even more business, but the kicker was when Bradley brought his bride to be into one of our stores. I just happened to be there that day, and when Bradley announced that he wanted to purchase another –10D for his bride as a wedding gift, I authorized the manager to present it to her free of charge. His bride was so grateful to us that once she had her new –17D glasses, she offered to do a television commercial for us. This brought us so much more business we were soon further behind than we were before.

Then the Chinese government approached us. They wanted to buy one machine. Fred and Lennie told Joe and I to sell them one, that there was no way that they could copy the technology that Fred and Lennie had developed. But Joe and I refused. We needed every machine to handle our own customers. We didn’t care that the Chinese were so worried about the onset of high myopia in their country that they were willing to go to extremes to obtain one of our machines. After the first 2 or 3 stores were broken into, and the machines were stolen we began to get a little more worried. Fred and Lennie had placed something in the machines that would destroy the machine if the sequence of instructions were not followed properly, so we were pretty sure that we had not let them get away with a working machine. But we were worried that they might kidnap one of our operating technicians. So Fred and Lennie worked on a retrofit to all the existing machines that would render the machine unusable if a special code was not entered into the computer every week.

Sure enough, a technician was kidnapped. And another machine went missing from another robbery. When the time came for the machine to have the code entered into it, we knew that the machine would now be useless. So, I wasn’t surprised to receive a call from the President, begging us to sell our machines to the Chinese. Finally we relented, and we began manufacturing machines for export, and training technicians to operate them. We made a lot of money.

After we had been doing this for 5 years the 4 of us decided that we should get some people to find out some information about our customers. We knew that sales of eyeglasses, and strong eyeglasses at that had gone through the roof ever since we put our machines into operation. But we had no statistics.

Finally the statistics were compiled. It turned out that 60% of our customers either were myopic, or became myopic, 30% were hyperopic, or became hyperopic, and the other 10% had their vision corrected to 20/20. What surprised me was that 40% of our myopic customers had come back again for even more myopia, and of that 40%, 15% had returned for a 3rd visit to the machine. If we had looked at the prescriptions leaving our optical stores, we would have noticed the trend for very strong prescriptions, both in plus and minus.

Finally I realized this had to stop. I had finally made it home in time for supper last night, and I looked at my wife of 15 years only to notice that she was wearing a pair of glasses, strong minus glasses with a prescription of –20D at least. When I asked her how long she had been wearing glasses that strong, she told me that she had gotten them only a month ago. And I hadn’t noticed. Not only had I not noticed the –20D glasses perched on her face, I obviously hadn’t seen the –10D glasses she must have worn for over a year before she could have her prescription increased. I couldn’t believe it. Me, the man who loves seeing GWG’s so much hadn’t even spotted his own wife.

We had all sorts of offers over the past couple of years to sell out, but we had not accepted any of them. I called Joe and Fred and Lennie together, and I told them I wanted out. They each told me that they wanted out as well. So, we put the wheels in motion, and within 30 days we had sold the company. Lennie and Fred had to stay on as technical advisors, but Joe and I got to go home and spend some time with our wives.

I love making love to my wife now, wearing her –20D glasses. And Joe is pretty happy that his wife is now a +10D hyperope.


May 2006